The Lies that Led me to You
by WhisperedTruths
Summary: Rachel was having a bad day. Shelby was having a good one. Then they met.
1. Curiosity

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Not sure I even want to.  
A/N: Sorry for any grammatical, spelling or word choice errors. I'm not perfect. This story is going to be a bumpy ride with more downs than ups but will hopefully be worth it. In this story i will focusing on the Shelby and Rachel relationship. As far as Rachel romance goes, I have no plans for any of that and maybe never will. I hope this doesn't turn anyone away. Enjoy.

Chapter 1 Curiosity

Rachel knew it was going to be a bad day, or a good day, but probably a bad day. She woke up this morning with a chill that would not go away. All she had for breakfast was a half of a one slice of dry toast and the last of her tea. School was the same. It was always the same. Sandy Stupid Ryerson still won't let girls join the choir. Principal Figgins couldn't seem to comprehend how sexist that is and was therefore no help at all. Coach Sue Sylvester was willing to help her out but only if she donned a red, white and black uniform and let the unholy trinity throw her up in the air. So, she was no help. Her Spanish teacher mismarked her paper and gave her an A when she should have gotten an A-. She wasn't exactly complaining, per se, but it did reinforce her suspicions that the teachers at McKinley High cared very little about education. When she sought someone out to actually vent about her problems the doe-eyed ginger guidance councilor seemed too unqualified to actually be of any help. By lunch time her stomach was cramping and growling but she didn't have anything to nourish it so she walked down the hallway in order to encounter one of the lumbering knucklehead jocks in hopes of being assaulted by an iced beverage. Finn the jolly green giant was kind enough to help out but despite the fact that he was the freshman quarterback he missed her face and got her hair instead. He went on to complain that she was too short and to grow some so he wouldn't miss. He then went on to say she owed him a dollar seventy for the wasted drink. She scoffed and paying him no attention she walked away to the restroom. By the time the final bell rang for the school day, she was hungry and cold and had no hopes for what's next.

It was a long walk to the bus stop and the wind blew so hard she felt like a leaf about to take flight. Just as she turned the corner she saw the bus at the stop and she ran for all she had only for the bus to peel away from the curb just as she was arriving. It was another thirty minutes until the next bus. She sat down on the bench only to cringe at the wetness she felt on her bottom. She leapt up quickly and placed her hands on her now wet skirt while looking down at the seat determined to find out what exactly she sat in. It appeared to be colorless but the dark rotting wood would hide most colors. She brought her hands to her nose and smelled them. She prepared herself for something disgusting but smelt lemons instead. She made the assumption that she sat in the spilled remnants of lemonade. Still, this would not do. Luckily she carried spare clothes with her. She just had to figure out a way to change into them in broad daylight on a busy urban street.

One quick change later she took a seat further down the bench, after thoroughly inspecting it of course, and pulled out her Spanish homework. Shueston or Shuester, whatever his name is, has assigned a three paragraph essay, as if that counts as an essay, on the Spanish-American War, which seems like more history homework than Spanish. Rachel, however, decided that she would instead vent about the direction her life had recently taken. She'd take more than three paragraphs to write it and Mr. Shuemer would just use his red pen, give her an A, but tell her that she wrote too much. He'd do so in English. By the time the bus arrived she was already two pages into her essay. She finished her sentence and put the homework away before forking over ten dollars and fifty cents to the bus driver who huffed angrily as she paid mostly with dimes and nickels.

"Way to nickel and dime it kid." She heard him mutter under his breath.

She took a seat in the middle of the bus, across from an elderly woman. The woman smiled at her so she smiled back. She leaned back on the seat and tried to forget her life. Her stomach growled, she'd forgotten about that. It'd take awhile to forget again. She closed her eyes and took two deep breaths. Suddenly she was being poked in the shoulder by something. She opened her eyes and looked at the elderly woman who appeared to be offering her a granola bar. She knew better than to assume that was what was going on. The elderly in Lima could be so terrible. No joke, this happened once when she was on her way to Columbus. An elderly gentleman snatched the candy bar back to his person as soon as she made to grab at it. He laughed and said something incorrigible. She turned red and moved seats to the back of the bus. A teenager who smelt of skunks offered her a brownie. She's not proud of this, but she took it and shoveled it in her mouth like an uncouth individual.

"Take it sweetheart." The woman said in a warm tone. Rachel was suspicious but hungry. She took the bar and thanked the woman with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes. The woman returned her smile.

"I'm Helena. What's your name, sweetheart?" Rachel was tempted to fire back a "not sweetheart" response, but this woman helped her stave off her hunger pains.

"It's Cathy." Rule number one of riding public transit in Lima was never give your real name. There were sketchy people who took the bus. She wasn't being unnecessarily weary or cautious. The bus line in Lima was notorious for criminals and creeps. Not everyone was bad, of course. Some were just unfortunate enough to have no other choice, like Rachel.

"Where are you heading Cathy?" This was a suspicious question. Rachel took her last bite of the granola, wondering if she'd just been poisoned. It didn't really matter if she had, she supposes.

"I'm visiting my grandma. It's her and my gramps anniversary but since he passed away last year, she's going to be all alone so I thought I'd surprise her and spend the evening with her. Keep her mind off things, you know. Plus she'll probably make me her famous cookies. I love those cookies." She laughed a little at the end. If she didn't put a selfish twist on the end this woman would be skeptical. Teenagers in Lima were even worse than the elderly.

The woman chuckled a little at the bit with the cookies. She looked like she wanted to say more but instead turned to her book. Rachel was thankful. She needed a little time to compose herself. She was not going to purport herself as a babbling moron. She was not.

It's just past five with Rachel arrives at the auditorium in Carmel High. She watches as the glee coach criticizes her team before 'letting them off the hook' for the night, though she 'expected it to result in tomorrow's success.' The kids scurried off quickly, the room emptying in no more than sixty five seconds. She counted. She watched as the instructor gathered up her sheet music and keys. If Rachel was going to do this, it had to be now.

She stepped out from the shadows, all of her previous nerves hidden.

"Miss Corcoran?" She announced her presence with clear diction and confidence. The woman in question turned her head and looked straight at Rachel. She was obviously not happy to be interrupted. Perhaps she had plans.

"I'm so sorry to interrupt. I know you must be extremely busy and all, but I only need five minutes of your time." She waited to be cut off but the woman just kept looking at her.

"I would like to audition for Vocal Adrenaline. I know that auditions are over and have been for quite some time. But I'd only like to know if I would be good enough to get in, had I auditioned at the appropriate time. I just want to know if I'm good. It'll only take as long as my audition song, I'll sing it a cappella, obviously." Seeing no resistance, Rachel walked down to the stage. An audition must be on a stage. In the aisles just would not do.

Rachel counted herself in and then started to sing _On my Own_ from the Broadway musical _Les Miserables._

* * *

Shelby just wanted to go home and take a nice warm bubble bath, pour herself a glass of Pinot Noir and call Patrick. She missed him so much and she only had a small window of time to get a hold of him. She let the worthless brats go home early only to be stopped by some ambitious middle schooler. She almost told the kid to piss off but she was always looking for future talent to nurture and mold. It was how she found St. James, after all. Even if the boy was more a hormone bomb than anything else. She couldn't believe that just last week he tried to feel her up. The nerve of that kid. She'd find a way to subtly destroy him for that later. Maybe she'd promise him entry into the school of his dreams and then hold it over his head for a lifetime. 'Oh no the kid is starting to sing.' She thought. As soon as the first few words were out of her mouth Shelby had to struggle to stay interested and alert. Really, this song?

The girl had a beautiful voice and had obviously been trained. But her song selection was terrible and boring. (Not that the song itself is boring, but because of how overused it is. She auditions about a hundred kids each year and about thirty of them do this song.) As the song came to a close Shelby thanked whatever it was that sat up on a cloud that she could now go home. But the girl stood there on the stage, like it was her stage, and was expecting a critique or praise. So this was going to take more time than a song.

"No." Okay, maybe not that long.

"No?" Ugh.

"Your song selection was cliché and overdone. I was bored."

"That's it?" What is wrong with kids these days? Can't they just take what is given to them and leave?

"You have a beautiful voice, maybe the best I've heard all year. But your song choice lacked originality and I can't support that. With a voice like yours you should be taking chances and risks and wowing people not putting them to sleep. So no. Just no." There, that ought to do it.

"I have a strong personal connection to that song."

There was a silence that took over the room as the two looked at each other. The silence passed and they both turned to leave.

"I'm your long lost daughter." Silence, more awkward than the last, enveloped the auditorium.

Shelby's plan of relaxing and calling her long distance boyfriend flew out the window, flew out of her mind. How do you respond to that? No really? She has no idea what to say. Does she question the validity of that statement? Should they both simultaneously enact a cheesy slow motion run towards each other culminating in a bear hug? Should there be tears? Should she run out the door? Call the police? Laugh?

"Do you like tea? I like tea? I go to this really good tea place in Asian Town, which isn't racist, just so you know, that's just what they call the borough in Lima, it even has a plaque welcoming people to Asian Town. Is plaque the right word? Anyway, tea? As in do you like tea? Do you want tea? Or should I just stop talking?" The girl was talking so fast Shelby barely caught all that. Something about tea and racism, right?

"The Berry Girl?" Shelby asks, trying to take control of the situation. She did not want to talk about tea with this kid. She needed to know. Is this girl her daughter?

"Yes. I'm her. Rachel Barbra Berry, daughter of Leroy and Hiram and you. Pleased to meet you. Tea?"

"Uh."

"This place I go to have this amazing tea that has like healing properties. Not like magic or anything, but healing herbs or something. It's like the immune system boost at the smoothie shop except with tea and not smoothies and not a scam, well maybe a scam. Who really knows, right? Anyway they also have regular tea, like jasmine and green."

"Uh?"

Silence takes over again.

"I have questions; you should have questions, so tea? You drive, ok?"

* * *

She hadn't wanted to sound like a bumbling fool. Best laid plans and all that. Still it seems to be going well. She hasn't been turned away yet. She hopes she never is, but she's not going to set herself up for failure. She'll just ask a few questions and then say goodbye. She wouldn't be dying of curiosity. And maybe, just maybe, Miss Corcoran is a little curious too.

"I'm not sure what you want from me." Rachel didn't really either. She thought about talking about tea again but that seemed a little like overkill at this point.

"Relax. Just focus on the road." Stall. Miss Corcoran's question was loaded. She obviously wasn't willing to give anything.

"I just want a sense of self." That was either a genius answer or the worst words ever came tumbling out of her mouth.

"Are you not curious at all? Cause if not pull over. I'm capable of getting tea by myself. I don't need someone to hold my hand or anything. I'm not looking for a mommy." That's right Rachel put it back on her.

"I am curious. Shocked. Stunned. Speechless. But curious." Rachel nodded her head; she supposes she might have been as well had their roles been reversed.

"So this tea? It's good?" They both laughed.

"Good. Really good. The kind I get is expensive though, like a lot. I'll probably get a white or black tea. I'm not racist or anything, you probably think I am now though. I actually prefer black. Tea that is. But not to seem all not racist, like I can't be 'cause I have insert racial minority here friends." This was not going well. She was not making any sense.

"You're not making sense. I'm almost to Asian Town, where do I go?"

"Take a left on Eggroll Street, a right on chow mein, and a right on Samurai Avenue. It's 1515 on the corner of Dynasty court. It's called Giant Panda's Tea and Spirits."

"And I'm nervous. I've never met my mother before. Frankly I'm a little upset that you're not. How many long lost children do you have? How many outings have you had?"

"I'm nervous too, Rachel."

* * *

As Shelby drives to the tea place, which sounds like a bar or a liquor store, she notices all of the businesses here in Asian Town. Lima is one racist city, apparently. There is the Great Wall of Sushi, Emperor Foods Marts, Ying and Yang Vacuum store, Kung Pow Tattoo, and Dragon's Pawn.

"I'm starting to think this is one racist town" Shelby mutters under her breath. She parks the car outside what is clearly a bar.

"Is this a bar?" She asks Rachel.

"No." Shelby watches as Rachel walks pasts the doorman checking ID's and enters the bar. She shakes her head and tried to follow but the doorman catches her and asks for her identification. Flattered but a little huffy that that man just let a not even fifteen year old into a bar she takes out her ID and waits for him to check it.

"What are you thinking taking a kid to a bar? You should be ashamed of yourself. And teach your kid some manners." The audacity of that man! She was about to correct him but wasn't really sure why. She shook her head and entered the bar instead.

Upon entering she finds Rachel sitting at the bar talking to an overweight white man wearing a samurai helmet and a kimono and a small Asian man wearing a Hawaiian shirt. She scurries over quickly only to hear the tail end of a hushed conversation.

"I can't afford it. It's ok." The Asian makes make a move to say something but Rachel cuts him off. "I'm okay with it." The Asian man nods and then walks away.

"So you get your tea? The cold fighting one?" She asks Rachel. She turns to the bartender/apothecary. "The strongest you have." She indicates that she'd like hers to be adult.

"No." She turns to look at Rachel. Why didn't she order her tea? It was all she could talk about.

"I'll have what she's having." Wait. What? Shelby watched horrified as the bartender shrugs his shoulder and gets to doubling the recipe. She makes to interrupt him and remind him that Rachel is only fourteen.

"My fathers died over the summer." Whoa.

"It sucks you know. But I'm healing. I found out about you and only just worked up the courage, you know. I just want to know a little about you and then we can part ways again. I sort of didn't know my fathers very well. They were so busy, and when they weren't I was, but they were really just closed off people I think, anyway. I just want to know my family history a little."

"They're gone? That doesn't make any sense." When Shelby answered the ad for a surrogate she was only supposed to carry an embryo to term and deliver it. But Hiram had liked her so much he asked if they could use her egg as well. She thought long and hard about it, but she was only twenty. She was focused on her dreams and they were offering a lot of money. Eventually she agreed. When Leroy showed up at her apartment nearly five months into the pregnancy he told her he was going to have a contract written up. Shelby didn't like that idea, at all. She told him so and threatened to not go through with it all. Since the baby was hers she had the right to do so. By the seventh month they had come to a decision with the contract. She was not to make contact with the baby until she turned eighteen years old. But if anything were to happen to Hiram and Leroy custody of the baby was to go to her. So when Shelby says this doesn't make sense, she means it. She should have been notified.

"Yea, I've been there. I couldn't believe it at first either. But you know life keeps going, or so I'm told."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. I'm here now."

"No I mean where are you staying now? Now that they are gone?" The barkeep serves them the drinks. They look and smell terrible.

"Oh I'm still at home." Shelby watched as Rachel closed herself off. Odd that this was the part of the conversation Rachel felt uncomfortable about.

"But who is taking care of you?" Shelby ignores the obvious signs and keeps going.

Instead of answering though, Rachel picks up her 'tea' and downs it in one gulp. She gags immediately and coughs. Her eyes start to tear up and she signals desperately for water. Shelby almost laughs, except this is her daughter who just took a shot of something toxic.

"Bubba? You steered me wrong. That tasted like a science experiment." Rachel coughs out to the bartender. He shrugs and hands her some water. She greedily drinks it. It doesn't appear to help though.

"Rachel?" She asks again.

"That was gross. And it burned. It was like acid down my throat. I recommend you don't drink yours." She coughs again. "My poor vocal chords!"

"Rachel?" Nothing.

"Little girl I asked a question, I expect it to be answered." She hadn't intended for coach Corcoran to come out.

"Hmm?" Just a little more prompting.

"Oh! Um. Uh my grandmother moved in. She's uh old, and ill and frail. I mostly take care of her." She was not reassured. Something was going on with Rachel.

* * *

Inside Rachel was panicking. She needed to steer this conversation away. She just had to. Nothing good would come of the truth, any of it. Miss Corcoran seems like a nice lady and was musically inclined judging from her profession. They could have been friends, had they not met like this, had they had more time to cultivate a relationship. There is never a light at the end of the 'what if' alleyway.

"Are you lying?" Rachel tried to put her game face on, whatever that meant. She heard the jocks mention that colloquialism a few times. She assumes it means put a brave face on. She'll look it up, eventually.

"Nope." Short and sweet. No holes to poke.

"You should come over sometime. She'll probably bake you some cookies or a pie." She wanted to smack herself. What happened to short and sweet and foolproof? Who's the fool now?

Rachel watched as Shelby tries to decide if she's telling the truth. She can only imagine what is going through her head. If she calls her bluff she's going to have to decide to walk away or do something about it. Rachel takes a sip of her water. She shouldn't have done this. Curiosity killed the cat and Curiosity was probably a sociopath.

"So what do you want to know about me?" For some reason Rachel feels her heart fall into her stomach. This is what she wanted. Right?

"Are you married?"

"No." Shelby answered. "I'm in a long distance relationship though. He's working in London. We've been together for almost two years."

"You must miss him."

"Very much." They was a pause as Shelby sipped the tea. She too gagged but not quite as extreme. "Are you dating?"

"I'm fourteen."

"Yes. I know how old you are. Are you dating?" Hmm. Maybe they could do this.

"No. Boys are yucky and girls are catty." They shared laugh. "Do you have kids?"

"Are we counting you?" That was a fair question, she supposes.

"No." They weren't exactly mother and daughter. Genetics was the only thing tying them together.

"Then no." Rachel smiled and looked up at the clock. It was just about seven. She had to get home.

"I have to get home now, to," she paused, "to Nana. This was nice. Thank you for indulging me." The truth was, though, Rachel was indulging herself. Curiosity was sated, for now at least.

Rachel scurries out of the tea house, making sure she left before Miss Corcoran had a chance to respond. A gust of wind hit her and reminded her of the chill she just couldn't escape and of her ever increasing weakness. She didn't have a home to go home to; at least she won't next week. The house had been foreclosed upon two weeks ago and she knew it was only a matter of time before the bank boarded it up or sold it. She had tried to keep up with the payments, selling off the furniture and cookware, even some of her clothes, but she was out of options now. She'll be on the streets soon, just in time for winter too. She wasn't scared though. She already knew she was going to die. She just hoped she could die in peace in a warm bed. But she had already come to terms with the fact that she was dealt bad cards and the casino already won. She just wished she could have a hug though.

Rachel wiped away her tears. It's been a bad day. There is no changing that.

* * *

Shelby was confused and sad. She had hoped to set up some sort of weekly thing with Rachel but the girl dashed out of here so quickly. She pulled out her wallet and took out a twenty. Why was she paying this guy again? He served a minor.

"Hey, you know she's fourteen right?"

"She needs it."

"That's bullshit." She slammed the money on the bar and left in a huff. Her perfectly good day ruined completely.

As she walks to her car she notices Rachel walking a block down the street. It appeared like the girl was having trouble walking through the wind. That was weird. What exactly did she drink?

Deciding that she can salvage this day she runs after Rachel. When she gets close enough she calls out to the girl. She watches as the girl turns around, tear streaks and snot all over her face, but a flicker of something stirs in the young girl's eyes. Rachel starts running towards her, or tries to. Is the wind really that strong? Shelby starts to run towards Rachel too but realizes what is happening and slows to a walk.

Rachel stops a few feet away from Shelby.

"I lied. I'm all alone and the bank is taking the house. I have nowhere to go."

"Yes you do."

A/N 2: Please review.


	2. Awkwardness

Disclaimer: Don't own glee. Don't want to.

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I know nearly everyone says this but the more reviews the more excited I am to write the next chapter. As a side note I meant to mention in the first chapter that the Lima I described is all fictional, I have never even been to Ohio and I definitely did not want to, still don't, offend anyone. My descriptions of Lima were all fictional and meant to bring humor in what will probably be a very angst filled story.

Chapter 2 Awkwardness

When Shelby had woken up this morning she wasn't a mother. She was a burnt out wannabe Broadway superstar and a successful choir instructor. She was a sister, a daughter, a friend and a lover. That was if she up to defining herself. Labels or not she hadn't expected to come home tonight with a daughter. She wasn't sure if she was excited or scared out of her mind at the prospect of becoming someone's mother, Rachel's mother. Rachel was a fourteen year old girl who had apparently been living on her own for quite some time. Rachel was scared and vulnerable and needed a parent. Rachel was the baby she carried in her belly for thirty-nine and a half weeks. Rachel was the baby who kicked her bladder and played footsy with her kidney. Rachel was the baby she delivered after a tiring nineteen hour labor. And Rachel was the baby she never got to hold because Leroy was afraid they would form an instantaneous bond. Rachel was the baby she watched leave with two men who promised to give baby Rachel the world and more. But now Rachel was parentless and possibly homeless. And Shelby? Well she hadn't a clue in the world what to do.

She needed a drink. Or two. She needed to call her mother and ask advice but that would bring forth the Corcoran hovering swarm, probably before the conversation even ended. Her siblings were spread out all over the Eastern states but she was sure they would call upon Scotty and arrive before the minute hand could advance. Shelby shuddered. As much as she loved her family, and she did, there was no need to bring them into this and crowd her one bedroom condo.

"Shit!" She cursed under her breath. She only had one bed and a really uncomfortable couch. What was she going to do? She looked over at Rachel who seemed to be impersonating a statue and sighed.

What was she going to do? In the greater scheme of things, what was she going to do? Could she really step up and be a parent, a mother, Rachel's mother? Or should she cower behind her insecurities and call social services and let them do their job? Yes, she knew she deserved to be slapped in the face for even thinking that. But was she not doing her job as an adult if she didn't entertain the possibility that someone else was better suited to raising her kid? Hmm. Her kid. Her daughter. Her baby. Her Rachel. She must be losing it, she'll blame the tea, but she did like the sound of that.

"Rachel?" She needed a sign. She needed Rachel to provide her with it. But the girl was stoic. She was obviously deep in thought or falling asleep.

"Rachel, sweetheart, do you need anything? Is there anything you want?" Come on, Rachel; tell her you need her and only her. Please.

"Hmm?" The girl speaks! Sort of.

"Do you need anything?"

"Oh no. I have everything of importance with me. Thank you for asking though." Well that was not helpful. But she guesses that is what you get when you ask for a sign from a teenager. Disobedience.

"I appreciate it." Shelby hadn't expected Rachel to speak just then and she struggled to not drive off the road from her shock. She glanced over at Rachel to see if she would elaborate but the girl was looking out of the window.

It wasn't until Shelby was pulling into her driveway that she realized Rachel did give her a sign. Or she just really wanted to think that. Still, she had a lot to think about. But first things first she needed to eat and sort Rachel out on the couch. And then she needed to call someone. She needed someone who would think rationally and tell her what she should do. Or tell her what she wants to hear, whatever that was.

"Are you hungry?"

"Oh um, you don't have to." Where was the confident girl who announced she was going to audition, that she was her daughter, who marched into a bar like she owned it? Why was she now left with a shell of that girl? Or was that girl just an act? Shelby was so confused.

"Rachel, I asked if you were hungry. It's a yes or no question. I expect a yes or no answer."

"I guess." She glared at the girl. Her directions were pretty simple. "Yes." Finally.

"Ok, at the risk of getting some overly polite non committal answer, what would you like to eat?" Shelby didn't really feel like cooking but if Rachel wanted something then so be it.

"I'm not really picky." Shelby nodded her head. That was probably the best she was going to get.

"I'm going to order pizza. What kind do you like?"

"What do you usually get?"

"Whatever you usually get." She fired back. Two could play at this game.

"Just cheese." Shelby felt like doing a little tap dance with jazz hands in celebration of that answer. Apparently the rumors about teenagers are true.

"Was that really so hard? I'm not going to bite or anything." Shelby went for her phone and punched in the numbers to the pizza place.

"I don't really know if you bite or not. That's the point. We don't know each other." Shelby hung up the phone. Food could wait.

Shelby walked over to Rachel and sat down on the couch. She motioned for Rachel to do the same.

"I'm scared." Maybe some honest communication would be the best. Maybe she didn't need to call her mom or Patrick or her friend Susan for advice. Maybe she needed to talk to Rachel. After all this was all about Rachel and surely the girl had thoughts about her future. "I don't know the first thing about parenthood. I can barely tolerate kids. So I'm scared that," she paused as she tried to collect her thoughts. "I'm scared that I'm not, that I'm not cut out for it, that I can't be your mom."

"I can leave."

"No! I don't want you to leave. I want you! I want you in my life. But I'm conflicted. I don't know if I'm good enough for you. You deserve someone better."

"You don't really know if that's true. What if I'm a serial killer? Or a junkie? Or worse?"

"I'm not really sure what could be worse than a serial killer, Rachel, but I'm sure you're not it."

"I don't want to ruin your life. I really just wanted to say hi and bye. I shouldn't have let my emotions take over."

"Rachel, this isn't about you. I mean it is. It so clearly is. But my being scared and conflicted has nothing to do with who you are as a person but with my," she paused trying to find the phrase that was on the tip of her tongue, "ability to parent you. Or lack of ability." Close enough.

"You are my little girl. My baby that I gave away to two people who I thought could provide you with more love than I could. And that still rings true, my wanting the very best for you. It always will, whether or not we ever met." Shelby took deep breath, she finally felt like she was explaining herself right.

"Maybe it's the shock or something, but I'm questioning if I'm that person for you." She looked at Rachel. It didn't appear that she got through to the girl but it was hard to say. After all she met the girl a few hours ago.

"You have to be. You're my mother. How can someone be better than you?" Well that was a loaded question and Shelby hoped to avoid answering it.

"Besides I won't be here long. And I don't need a lot of care. I can take care of myself. I just need a roof over my head. I'll get a job and pay rent or something for the time being. I just. I need it to be you."

"Rachel. I want to be that person too."

"Then be her! It's not that hard."

"You don't understand. I want you to understand. I need you to. Rachel, I don't know if I can."

"You don't know if you want to. That's what you're saying, have been saying. Stop being so scared and just say it. Say you don't want me! Say it!"

Shelby felt like she had been kicked in the gut repeatedly by a horse. She didn't know how to respond. If she should even try to. Obviously talking out her insecurities with a fourteen year old backfired. She felt like an idiot. She closed her eyes for a just a second. She needed to think.

"I didn't want to impose. But now that I have," Rachel paused and Shelby opened her eyes, "I need this." Shelby took a chance a scooted closer to Rachel so that they were in touching distance.

"I know I'm just a kid. I know I shouldn't be living alone, on the precipice of being homeless. You might not think so, but I know I deserve something else. Maybe not better." Silence filled the room as mother and daughter contemplated the spoken words.

"Can we just try? Please? I'm a good kid. I am. I don't get in trouble, I do my homework, my teachers call me an over achiever. I'm not really quiet, but I can try. And I won't stay long. I promise."

Shelby took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. Rachel was all over the place, sometimes making sense, sometimes not. And despite how conflicted she was with the situation she knew the girl was asking for help. As an employee in the Ohio State education system she was bound by law to help. She looked over at the little girl and tried her best to put a comforting smile on her face.

"I'm sorry I'm all over the place. You do deserve better than right now. I should be jumping for joy. I know I should. And hopefully by morning I will be. Can you try to understand my hesitance, my confusion?" Shelby just needed to sleep on this. Sleep on it without the crippling fear that Rachel will slink out into the cold dark night and never been seen again.

"I can try. Can you order that pizza now? I'm starving." Shelby nodded her head and got up to retrieve the phone. She too was hungry.

"Also, would you mind if I took a shower?" Shelby smiled. She was glad that Rachel was trying to make herself at home.

* * *

Rachel stood under the warm spray of the shower and tried to wash away the grime of the day. She grabbed at Shelby's shampoo and almost giggled. It had been so long since she last washed her hair with something other than the free soap offered at the Y. This had a very pleasant fruity smell to it and she considered using it as body wash as well. Instead she picked up the dove soap bar and lathered it up in her hands. She needed to get clean not smell good.

Rachel let out an exhale. The warm water was finally heating up her body and the crippling coldness of the days past started to leave her bones. Unable to keep standing she sat down in the tub and reached behind her to the facet and turned the heat up. Nothing was going to take away her weakness, she knew that, but at least she could be more comfortable.

She needed to savor this. Shelby Corcoran was too up in the air about all this. And despite Rachel not intending to better her situation she needed Shelby to get on board. She'd taken a huge risk informing Shelby of her situation, informing a teacher of her situation. If Shelby said no, and it was starting to sound like that was a huge possibility, then she would be taken by Social Services to a group home. It's not like Rachel was under the illusion that being homeless and dying on the streets was better than a group home or a foster home. She just knew that Social Services would entail a lot of talking and a lot of doctors. She would be poked and prodded at, both physically and mentally. And who really wanted that? But Shelby? Shelby was her mother and all of that could be avoided because they were biologically mother and daughter.

Rachel needed this to work or she needed to leave as soon as the lights went out. She sighed and wiped away a few tears. She could not take the risk of being rejected again. Despite the hot water beating down on her a chill worked its way down her body, settling in her extremities and her stomach. She went to turn the water up again but she knew this chill was going to stay. Rachel, however, was not.

* * *

By the time the pizza had arrived Rachel had just pulled herself up off the shower floor. Shelby had knocked on the door once before announcing that food had arrived and she should hurry up before it got cold. Rachel turned the water off and toweled her frail body off before putting on the fluffy pajama pants that Shelby had left for her. And despite how large they were on Rachel's petit body she was both grateful and touched.

Dinner had been an awkward affair. Neither knew what to say to each other. Shelby had tried to reassure Rachel that she was welcomed and wanted but neither could say for sure if Shelby had spoken the truth. Still it was nice to not be so alone.

Shelby had given up after a slice and a half, her appetite leaving her quickly. Rachel was giving off all sorts of vibes and none of them were comforting. Rachel, however, gorged herself on the greasy pizza, not knowing when she'd eat again or if she ever would. She tried to smile at Shelby in between bites but she's not quite sure she succeeded. Two bites into her fourth slice she started to feel nauseous and hastily dropped the slice on her plate. She took a few deep breaths to try and settle her stomach but the nausea persisted. She took mouthfuls of water too, but the uneasy salivating stayed. She hoped it would pass soon but the ever uncomfortable feeling of vomit kept growing. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom and turned the faucet on despite that fact that it was practically common knowledge to turn running water on when about to puke your guts out. Still she didn't want Shelby to hear her.

Shelby was not blind or stupid. She saw the sweat line Rachel's forehead and watched as the girl tried to settle her stomach. She had experience praying to the porcelain god. And despite all of her motherly instincts she stayed glued to her seat. (Did this mean she didn't have any?) Not really knowing if Rachel was sick or not she chalked it to the retched tea the girl drank. Fourteen year olds were, usually, not accustomed to harsh alcohol. Yes, Shelby realized, that must be it.

When Rachel returned she looked worse than wear but neither commented on it. Rachel had timidly offered to help clean up and while she did so Shelby gathered up some blankets and pillows and apologized profusely for the uncomfortable couch. Rachel smiled, genuinely this time, and muttered under her breath that she'd been sleeping on the floor as of late. The comment stopped Shelby in her tracks and made her heart stop beating but she carried on. They could talk in the morning, they'd have to.

When it was time to say their goodbyes, in guise of goodnights, they sat awkwardly next to one another. Shelby had gotten up to retreat to the safety of her bedroom. Rachel watched her ascend the stairs and tried not to cry. She thought about earlier in the day, when she had walked away and she thought about being hugged. She wondered what they felt like. Every time she's seen someone be hugged they look really happy, sometimes annoyed, but overall happy. So she put on her brave hat, so to speak, and asked Shelby for a hug. For a second or so it seemed like Shelby hadn't heard her or was ignoring it and it made Rachel want to cry but she had a strict no crying rule. But then Shelby had turned around and headed down the stairs.

Like everything else that day the hug was awkward.

* * *

Shelby needed a drink. No really, she needed a drink. Nothing about this day had gone well. Most of her students had failed the pop quiz from last week. Her V.A. students were lazy and cocky. Her little sister had called at lunch time to cancel their weekend plans. The only thing that was getting her through to tomorrow was her phone date with Patrick, but that didn't happen. Oh and the little girl she had carried for nine months approached her, told her she was an orphan and homeless. Yea, Shelby's day sucked. She needed a drink. But unfortunately said little girl was downstairs probably trying unsuccessfully to get comfortable on the brick of a couch she owned and she couldn't just waltz downstairs and deplete all of her liquor reserves. What kind of message would that send Rachel, Rachel who already thought Shelby didn't want her? Instead she climbed into bed and tried to think happy thoughts. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

Twenty minutes of tossing and turning had passed before Shelby gave up. She reached over for her phone. Patrick was going to hate her but she needed clarity.

It rang four times before he picked up.

"Do y'know wha time it is, Shel?"

"I know I'm sorry. I just really need to talk." She whispered into the phone. She hoped he could hear her desperation.

"Then why didn't you call earlier?" Oh great it was his time of the month.

"God, Patrick I'm sorry it's so late. But my problems can't be tailored to your timetable." That had a bit more of a bite to it that she really wanted. She did not want to have a fight with him about the sorry facts about their relationship. She wanted to talk about Rachel. She wanted his advice not his attitude.

"Sorry. Sorry. That didn't come out right. But I'm freaking out and I need to be centered." It went without saying that she'd prefer he'd be there and wrap his arms around her.

"No you're right, Shel. I'm just tired and I miss you." Yea, Patrick, throw that in and make her seem like the bitch.

"I miss you too. You know I do. But this, this is big. My mind is reeling and I need you."

"Is it the cancer? Is it back?" He sounded much more alert. She shook her head and smiled. It was sweet that he worried about her health.

"No. No. Patrick, it's not that." She took a deep breath.

"You remember that baby I gave up? Well I met her today. She's sleeping on my couch right now." He was silent.

"Her parents died and she's got nowhere else to go."

"Shel? Are you sure it's her? Like this isn't some kid waiting for you to fall asleep before robbing you?" Well, no, she's not. Why can't he just be happy for her?

"I mean I'm mostly sure. And she looks a lot like me. She's really…"

"That could be a coincidence. You can't let yourself be taken advantage of. Kids aren't really trustworthy these days." What does he mean these days?

"Patrick…"

"No seriously Shelby, you should have taken her to social services. Maybe after a DNA test you could do something, but right now…"

"Stop it. Can't you be happy for me?" Seriously, he knew how much sleep she's lost worrying about that little girl.

"I can. I will when I know everything. Did you even try to verify her story? What if she's lying? What if she ran away and her parents are worried sick? You always said that if anything happened you'd be contacted. Doesn't it concern you that you didn't?" Well of course it does. This whole conversation was worrying her.

"She cried."

"So she can cry on demand. She should get an Oscar not your silver." Shelby really wanted to stab him in the face right now. She wanted to be reassured and lulled into sleep. Now she thinks she should call the police.

"Shelby I know how much you love your little girl. I know how much you want this to be true. And say she isn't a psychopath? That still doesn't mean she's your daughter. Maybe she looks like you; maybe she knows a little background that still doesn't mean she is your daughter. Maybe she's just a little orphan Annie looking for a mommy Warbucks. I love you Shelby and I say this only because I love you but you would not be able to care for some random orphan."

"What? That is ridiculous!" Of all the things he could say this was the worst.

"Shelby if that girl sleeping on the couch is your daughter, and I mean if, if she was your daughter, then yea, I know you would open your heart up and let her in. But if she isn't, she's just some lost kid looking for a home, you wouldn't do it. I love you, but you wouldn't." She is so insulted. Where does he get off saying she is some heartless ice queen? And hiding behind 'I love you' does not make it sting less. That's like saying 'no offense, but you're ugly' to some whoring troll. (She actually did this once back in her New York days, 'no offense' didn't stop her from being punched once in the face and repeatedly in the gut.)

"Patrick, please. I want you to tell me I'm doing the right thing." She pleaded with him. He had to know how much she hated to be wrong.

"I can't. I don't think you are. I think you reacted on your emotions. I think you want so badly for this to be her. And regardless if she is or isn't, you did not react right at all. Yes, you needed to react and get her off the streets but opening up your home wasn't the way to do it. Authorities needed to be contacted; they need to be, so you aren't some weird pedophile or a kidnapper. I mean from an outsider's perspective your actions could get you arrested, you could lose your job, you could face jail time." Well, when he puts it like that she's now not going to get any sleep.

"I hate you." He laughs. She wasn't trying to be funny or cute. She really hates him right now. Or herself, but it's easier to hate him.

"Look, assuming she's still there in the morning, cook her breakfast and then take her down to the social services office. Tell them what you know and what you're willing to do, and let them figure everything else out. If not then lesson learned."Great. Just what she needed, a giant escape route. She wanted to be better than herself. She wanted to be a mom but for some reason she was paralyzed, unable to act. She needed a drink.

Wait what. Did he just say if she's still there in the morning? Why did it all of sudden seem impossible to breathe? She hastily said her goodnights to Patrick. (He was no help at all. No. Okay he was completely helpful just not the way she wished.) And threw her phone in the tangled up mess of her sheets. She threw open her bedroom door and winced at the sound it made. No time to beat herself up over it. She bounded down the stairs as quietly as she possible could and peeked at the couch.

She could breathe again. Rachel was cocooned in the blankets and sleeping soundly.

* * *

Rachel was surprised when she woke up. She hadn't intended to fall asleep at all last night. She looked around the room and tried to determine if she could still escape.

There was a clatter of something coming from the kitchen. Maybe it was an automated coffee machine kicking on. She threw the blankets off her body and quickly stripped off the pajama pants. She grabbed her skirt and shimmied into it. She grabbed the blankets and started to fold them with the kitchen door swung open.

"Oh you're up, good. I made pancakes." Okay. Rachel took a deep breath. Maybe this was going to work out just fine.

"Yum."

"Yep they are. About the only thing I can say for certain that I can make delicious." Rachel smiled. She really doesn't care if it was cat food. Food was food.

"Did you sleep well?" Apparently the quietness between them was over. Oh well, Rachel was naturally a chatty person. She could do this.

"I slept like a baby." Hey look at that, not telling any lies.

"Great. I'm glad. I was worried that you wouldn't because that couch is evil." Was that supposed to be funny? She nodded her head and poured about a gallon of syrup on her pancake.

"Did you?" Rachel could be polite too. She filled her mouth with syrupy pancakes so much that she couldn't quite close it.

"I tossed and turned a lot. I was worried you wouldn't be here in the morning. I actually came down to check on you a couple of times." Does this woman not know how to tell a little white lie? Wait. Did Shelby just say she came down in the middle of the night to watch her sleep? Creepy.

"Well I'm here," she took another massive bite of breakfast, "See! You had nothing to be worried about." Except that she most definitely did. Best laid plans and such.

"I can see that. And you can slow down, there is plenty more of pancakes. Though maybe not syrup." Rachel is just going to ignore that.

"I'm hungry."

"I can see that."

"I'm not going to apologize." She said so with her mouth full. She wasn't really such a pig, she was just hungry today.

"I'm not asking you to. I think it's kind of endearing."

"Pancakes are one of my favorite foods, second behind french toast. I sometimes get a little overzealous when I eat them." She grabbed a third pancake and submerged it in the syrup lake on her plate.

"So listen, Rachel." Nothing good comes of that, but those pancakes are just too good to care.

"I've been thinking." Rachel put her fork down. This was going to go wrong. She braced for impact.

"As much as I want you here, and I do, I really do. I have to do things by the book." No. No. Oh no.

"So when you're ready we're going to head down to social services…" Shelby kept talking but Rachel wasn't listening anymore. She should have run.

Rachel sat back in her chair and looked at the woman sitting across from her. Her lips were moving but Rachel had no idea what she was saying. This morning had such high hopes.

And then everything caught up to her. Why was this, her life? Rachel started to cry.

* * *

"So when you're ready we're going to head down to social services. I'm going to talk to them and make sure that the next time you come home with me it is all legal. I'm not sure what everything entails but since I'm your mother and all I imagine it will be smooth sailing. But regardless, Rachel, I am going to fight for you."

A/N 2: Again please review.


	3. Bravery

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee. Thank God! (Side bar: I'm seriously going to lose my mind if they make Rachel pregnant. And even more so if it's Finns. Not really sure how it could be, but in the glee canon verse nothing is meant to make sense.)

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I know that many of you are looking forward to meeting Shelby's family and you will in due time. Spoiler Alert: you will meet one of Shelby's siblings via phone call in this chapter. If you have any other questions or comments or ideas of what you would like to happen please let me. I will answer the best I can without compromising my story or giving away too much detail. So without further ado...

Chapter 3 Bravery

It takes a lot of bravery to do the right thing. Doing wrong is much easier. For instance Shelby could just ignore the law and her doubts and all those fussy what ifs and just be in the wrong. She could ignore the crying teenager in her car. She could ignore Patrick and all of his non-support. She could be at home watching Rachel eat another dozen pancakes and then put on a musical and spend the day critiquing the actors. She could! Instead she's doing the right thing. And she has never felt worse about doing it.

On the one hand she could save herself a lot of time and worry and emotional upheaval. Rachel could be using her and if it weren't for the uncanny resemblance between the two of them then she would have scoffed at the notion of being Rachel's mother and therefore wouldn't be in such a crappy predicament. On the other hand she's putting an emotionally wrecked teenager through the legal system. She can't win.

She looks over at Rachel and tries to think of something supportive to say to the girl. Except Shelby doesn't do supportive platitudes. She is a hard ass! She is the ice queen! But then why is it every time she hears Rachel sniffle she melts into a puddle?

"Rach? This is only temporary. You'll be back with me in a week or less or so." She hopes anyway. She hopes they both hope that.

Shelby isn't surprised when Rachel ignores her. She too used to be a teenager. She didn't have to deal with her parents dying then trying to figure out a way to pay the bills and eat and stay in school but she was still a teenager who rarely got her own way. She had made brooding an art form.

Shelby took a left turn into the Social Services parking lot. She took a deep breath. She didn't think it would be this hard. She doesn't want to say goodbye. She wants to turn the car around and say fuck it to the law. This could be her only chance at being a mother. And all of the endless possible scenarios could take Rachel away for good. She parked the car. What else could she do? Risk kidnapping charges and jail time? Have her life and career ripped from her? She looked at Rachel. It'd be worth it.

"It's just to make everything legal. Ok? I'm not going anywhere." Unless Rachel isn't her daughter, then she's going be to be anywhere but here. Patrick, the ass that he is, is right about that. She's not strong enough to raise someone else's kid.

"Yea sure." She speaks!

As soon as they are out of the car Shelby quickly wraps Rachel in a hug. This could be goodbye after all. Rachel, unsurprisingly, doesn't hug back. As they walk towards the office Shelby makes sure she has her hand on Rachel, not because she's afraid the girl will flee, but just because she wants to.

She feels like she is walking the green mile towards the electric chair and knows her life will most certainly end. No, that's not right. She feels like she is a prison guard escorting her ward to the gallows. No! Shelby, No! Think positive! Think puppy dogs and rainbows and the wizard of Oz! She can be Dorothy and Rachel can be Toto and they are walking along the yellow brick road and the social workers are the tin man, the scarecrow and the cowardly lion.

She feels like the cowardly lion. She can't even imagine how Rachel feels.

By the time they reach the door Shelby is trying to think up reasons to turn around. Did she leave the oven on? What about the lights? Did she remember to lock the door when she was practically dragging Rachel out? (She wishes anyway, Rachel, despite her tears was all too eager to get this all over with.) What about her hairdryer, those things are dangerous? Or was it the iron?

No. Just no. Shelby was the adult here. No matter how much she wants to deny it she is a grown woman. And grown women do the right thing.

Shelby expected a swarm of worker bees to surround the two of them as soon as they entered the office. Instead they were practically ignored and it wasn't like there was some sort of crisis going on, just people at the computer or on the phone going about their day like they don't have to give up their kid for a second time.

"You can go now." Shelby looked down. Was that angry steely voice coming from Rachel? And was it directed towards her? No no, little girl, nobody tells Shelby what to do.

"I don't think so." It took her a few seconds to phrase that. Tearing a kid's head off in this office will probably bring some unwanted attention.

Shelby surveyed the room again, this time searching for the person in charge. She didn't want to talk to some underling. Instead all she saw were people in cubicles. There was a door at the back but it didn't appear to be an office. She sighed. Guess the underlings will have to do.

She walked up to the first one she saw, a pretty blonde who appeared to be in her mid to late twenties. She didn't look too jaded by her job yet. She probably still cared. This could work.

"Excuse me. Can you help?" She tried not to sound like her usual bitch self. She felt Rachel tense up next to her. She must have failed.

The woman looked up at her then down at Rachel then back to her computer. Shelby cleared her throat. The woman looked up again.

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding." The bitch was coming out to play. "But this is your job, correct? You get paid to deal with me, right? So when I ask for help, you help, right? Or did I wander into the social services office that doesn't give a damn?" Shelby really shouldn't be enjoying the look of absolute terror on the girls face.

"No ma'am, sorry ma'am. We care here. How can I assist you?" Would you like fries with that? Could the woman sound less like an automated machine?

"This is Rachel." She points at Rachel who is doing her best to appear like some hardened criminal. "She's my daughter." Hmm. Maybe she should explain more.

"I was a surrogate, years ago, and as per the agreement I gave up my parental rights so she could live with and be loved by her parents. Now unfortunately it has come to my attention that her parents passed away over the summer. And even worse than that is that she has been living by herself since then." Breathe.

"Now I would like to reinstate my parental rights, which is why I am here. So?"

The woman stands up.

"Hi Rachel. I'm Samantha Livingston. Why don't you follow me?" She stands up and turns towards the back door. Shelby tries to pretend this isn't weird.

"'Cause I don't want to." Oh cool. Rachel can be a bitch too. Shelby doesn't know if she is proud or not.

"I'm sorry what?"

"You asked why I don't follow you. The answer to that ridiculous question is that I don't want to, follow you that is." Proud. Definitely proud.

"And why not?" Shelby has to give the Livingston girl some props for that. She obviously has no experience with dealing with children.

"Are you asking why I don't want to follow you or again why I won't follow you? I'm going to assume you're not as stupid as you appear to be. I don't want to follow you because for all I know you're going to do things to me. Inappropriate things. Illegal things." It's time for this to end.

"Rachel!" Yes that's right quiver in the wake that is Coach Corcoran.

"Ok, despite her attitude, Rachel does bring up a good question. Where are you taking her? And why?"

"I'm uh taking her to the back rooms. Once there my bosses will talk to her and from there any number of things could happen next. She may go to see a therapist, or a doctor, or the police. She might go to a group home or a foster home. It all depends on her situation." Shelby nods. That kind of makes sense.

"Ok." She turns to Rachel and gives her another big hug. Again, nothing.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rachel. I'm staying right here. And when we leave this place it will be together. I love you." She whispers to the girl. Most of it lies, she thinks.

"Be good. And tell the truth. And I'll see you soon." She watched as Rachel was led to the back of the slaughterhouse. Ugh, seriously. Shelby needed to be less pessimistic about the world. Rachel was obviously not being led to her death back there. She wasn't cattle and this wasn't a glue factory. It might feel like one, but Shelby has to remind herself that it isn't. These people care about the welfare of children. They are not going to ply them with candy and then eat them for dinner. Those things only happened in fairytales.

Shelby stands around out of place in the office as she contemplates her next move. She could leave and then live out her life. Or she could stay. She hates herself so much in every moment that she second guesses her decisions. She wants to put on the shining armor and save Princess Rachel from the despair of her life. But she's too cowardly to fight off the dragons.

It isn't easy. It is not easy to go from only thinking about yourself and making decisions for yourself to suddenly have to think for and decide for someone else. At least before when she made mistakes she was only hurting herself. Now her mistakes have consequences that Rachel has to deal with. And Shelby can't decide if she can deal with that pressure full time.

But, she reminds herself, she made those decisions almost fifteen years ago and had paid for it every day since. Maybe it's selfish for her to keep Rachel now. Maybe Rachel would be better off somewhere else and with someone else. And yet, Shelby can't help it. Something inside of her is urging her to be selfish. She's read many articles about nature vs. nurture but she isn't sure which side she supports or if it's even applicable here. (Although she supposes the articles might insist that her situation is perfect for the argument.) It's in her nature to be selfish, as it is in every human being's and she wants desperately to nurture Rachel.

Maybe she needs to reread those articles.

Shelby counts to ten in her head. One, two, three, and so on. By the time she reaches ten she decides that yes indeed she is going to fight for Rachel. And step one is to talk to someone in charge. She looks around. Just underlings. She sees Samantha Livingston come back into the room and approaches her.

"So what's next?"

"You wait. Someone will come out and talk to you shortly." Samantha points towards some chairs and Shelby reluctantly goes to sit in one.

* * *

Shelby doesn't know how long it has been since she sat down. Too long, she supposes. She's not sure how many more _Highlights for Children _she can read without wanting to claw her eyes out. What, is she in a doctor's office now?

"_Nobody knows where they might end up, Nobody knows…_" Is Shelby imagining things now?

Wait. Hold on. Is that her phone ringing? She hates personalized ringtones. But her sneaky little sister doesn't. Someone is going to be killed at the next Hunger Games, she means Corcoran Family reunion.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Hey to you too Shelly." She hates that name. This kid seriously wants to die.

"Look as much fun as it would be to tear you a new one I'm kind of seriously busy right now and can't talk." Busy is a bit of an overstatement. All she has to do is find the apple in the picture puzzle.

"Yea yea, you always say that and then we talk for like an hour. Anyway I just wanted to make sure you don't have a bug up your ass about this weekend."

"Shay, seriously? I mean it, I can't talk."

"Okay so, you do."

"Shay!"

"Look Shel, I really like this guy and he finally asked me out for Saturday. I mean it was just as friends but who knows what we were going to leave as? Anyway I was not going to cancel on him so I could sleep on your stupid couch." Oh the things Shelby wants to say to her little sister but won't. Let the little phone hacking snot learn a lesson!

"I can't talk. How many times do I have to tell you that? I'm seriously hanging up right now." She's not.

"Are you seriously mad at me? I mean weren't you like young once too. Didn't you ever make bad decisions just because you could?"

"Yea Shay, I made bad decisions so you didn't have to. But thanks! All of my hard work getting in trouble and getting my heart stomped on and just in general being used goes to waste." That was too playful. She needs to end this conversation and quickly.

"And in any case you need to grow up. And you need to realize that my life doesn't revolve around you and whether or not you can visit. I have adult problems, Shay, real matters that have to be dealt with real concern and whether or not you let that guy use you or not is not a real concern of mine." She hung up the phone. She probably should have said goodbye but that girl needs to learn.

"_Nobody knows…_" She hits the cancel button on her phone and then turns it off. No distractions. She needs to only think of Rachel. That and find the stupid apple. How is an apple in a park out of place anyway?

Just as she is circling the stupid apple (which is in the bike basket, not out of place, she grumbles) she hears someone clear their voice. She looks up and sees and older blonde with a stony, if not slightly amused, face on. This woman must be in charge. Shelby stands up to greet the woman.

"You know those are for the children right?" The woman jokingly asks her.

"Just doing my civic duty and preventing their brains from turning into mush." She jokes back. The air of levity is refreshing. But like a breeze on a blazing hot day it is gone far too soon.

"My name is Shelby Corcoran." She sticks her hand out for a shake. Time to see what this woman is made of.

"Judy Fabray." They shake hands. This woman obviously means serious business.

"So why are you here?" That's blunt.

"Rachel."

"And Rachel is?"

"My daughter."

"Okay. So why are you here?" Oh yea. Why does she keep forgetting to elaborate?

"I was a surrogate. And as such I terminated my parental rights after I gave birth to her. Anyway I just found out that her parents died and she's been living alone for months." Judy looks at her strangely. Shelby wonders if Judy is doubting her story.

"Okay. So, again, why are you here?" She hates that question.

"I want to reinstate my parental rights." She watches as Judy's eyes and whole face light up.

"Great. That is great." Well yeah, duh.

"Now I just have a few more questions for you and then I'll go speak with Rachel."

**PAGE BREAK**

Rachel coughed into her elbow. It was the polite thing to do. She looked around the room. It was empty now. Before, it was swarming with people asking her questions and giving her a headache. She made it clear she wasn't talking.

The lights blinked out. They were automatic and if she moved they would come back on. But Rachel preferred the darkness. She had been living without power for at least a month now. Her childish fear of the dark has long since passed.

She sighed. This sucked. She took a gamble and it didn't pay off. And she hates losing. She really does. In middle school she was on the track team, in addition to all of her performing arts activities of course. She was the best cross country runner the school had ever seen. Garfield Academy regaled her with medals and awards and top honors. She was liked by everybody. But then Quinn Fabray transferred over to McKinley Middle, Garfield's rival school, and started to beat Rachel on the track. And this was just not acceptable. It wasn't. So the night before the big championship meet Rachel devised a plan. She went to the St. Virgis Trail head, where the meet was to be held, and she started to make little divots along the tricky parts of the trail. But just in case this didn't stop Fabray from achieving victory Rachel dug a bigger divot then the others just over midway in the run and then covered it up with leaves and a couple tiny branches. She didn't want to hurt the girl or anyone else running, she just wanted to slow her down. The next day at the meet, feeling guilty for her sabotage, she searched for Fabray to warn her of the divots but Fabray was nowhere to be found. Apparently McKinley Middle lost their last meet against Jane Adams Middle. (And not that it matters or anything but the Jane Adams Middle girl pushed her down during the race and Rachel broke her ankle and twisted her knee, later she found out that the girl tripped on her last divot and sprained her ankle pretty bad but hobbled into sixth place. The winner was some dumb blonde on the Garfield team.)

The point is, Rachel hates to lose. She hates right now. She hates that right now sitting in this dark room in the CPS office is the closest she's come to a win in a long time.

The lights flicker back on. Rachel looks up to see who has entered but sees no one. She must have activated the lights when she went to wipe her tears away.

She sniffled and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. She wished this could all be over with soon. Rachel looked at the clock above the door and started to count the seconds and minutes. She was fascinated with how things worked. She used to break apart all sorts of gadgets and gizmos just to see how they worked but then her daddy enrolled her into more dance classes saying 'little ladies do little lady things'. She hated him the most.

Growing up with two dads is not a big deal until the kids on the playground made it one. (She's not stupid; she knows it's the adults behind the curtain.) But for her it was all she knew. She didn't, and doesn't, know a mother's love. She had nothing to compare her experience to.

When she was around four or so she remembers dancing around the house in her purple tutu. She took a misstep and fell into the coffee table. Her dad Leroy was sitting at the couch reading the newspaper, sports she thinks. She remembers the hiss of pain and then the tears and calling out for her daddy. She was looking straight at Leroy. He didn't even take a glance at her. He just kept reading the paper. She had kept crying out to him. Eventually he put the paper down in his lap and said "I'm sorry sweetie but your daddy isn't home". It didn't take her long after that to realize who Dad and Daddy were and that there was to be no mistaking them.

She hated them both. When she started to show an exuberant passion for biology her dad literally took her science book and lit it on fire. After an embarrassing talk with her teacher and three weeks' worth of detention she came home to find that the basement had been revamped into a dance studio. It was clear that she had no free will in that house. She was only allowed to dance and sing.

She wiped at some more tears. She did not miss them. She's crying for herself.

The lights went out again. She took a deep breath and started to relax. There was something about being in the dark that put her at ease. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like if she was a scientist or engineer. But then there was footsteps and the lights turned back on and there was some lady in a suit standing in front of her. Let the games begin.

"Hi. Sorry about that. I hope you haven't been waiting long." Only an eternity, but who really cares? The woman keeps looking at her with scary eyes. She feels compelled to respond. She shrugs.

"My name is Judy. Can you tell me yours?" Yes, yes she can. She rolls her eyes.

"Okay. Well it says here" the woman indicates the file in her hands, "that your name is Rachel. Is that correct?"

"Yup." She held the 'u' and popped the 'p' like she heard the Cheerios do before.

"Great. Do you like being called Rachel? Or would you feel more comfortable with a nickname of some sort."

"Yeah I'm more comfortable with Manhands, Rupaul, Treasure Trail, Tranny or Hobbit." Take that lady!

"I'm sorry that kids are so ruthless. I wish I had the power to stop them." Doubtful.

"I'm going to call you Rachel, alright?" Rachel hesitated but eventually nodded her head. This lady had mind control powers or something.

"Okay good. Tell me a little about yourself please." Why couldn't they just get the show on the road?

Rachel clasped her hands together and squeezed her fingers tightly. She watches as the blood supply is cut off and then reenters her extremities.

"I know this must be really difficult for you." It's actually easier than it looks but Rachel is no fool, she knows that right this very minute she has control. In sixty seconds or so she knows she won't.

"Let me help you."

"I'm not brave enough to let you."

* * *

When Judy Fabray woke up this morning she had wanted to call in sick. Her husband was an absolute terror last night and as a result she herself was hung over. Contrary to what her daughters and friends might think she knows she has a drinking problem. Constantly throwing herself into the line of fire to protect her youngest is a tiring and daunting task. She also knows she has a husband problem. She is just too afraid of what he might to do her or her children if she tried to leave. It's ironic of course. She works closely with children suffering from abuse and neglect. She works closely with abused mothers trying for the sake of their children. She sees strong and brave women who have confronted their abusers and have lost badly. It rips her heart out when she has to take a child away from their loving mother simply because the mother couldn't fight anymore. It was always, ultimately, for the best. And it's unbelievably sad to realize that those mothers know it as well.

Judy had spent most of yesterday talking to the abusers, fathers and mothers who have hurt their child. They repent and go to meetings and some face jail time or hefty fines in order to make it right. But Judy knows they will be back again. She has to weigh the pros and cons of each person. She has to read them and determine their honesty and sincerity. She can't take proven statistical patterns into her decisions. And it sucks. She doesn't only drink because of her husband.

But instead of staying at home in bed and recovering she went to work. And now she's got another ward.

She was pleasantly surprised though to find out that Shelby Corcoran wasn't running. This girl may not know it, and judging by her demeanor does not, but she has a home and a parent waiting for her. But first she needs to figuratively slap the girl into cooperating.

"Let me help you." Step one into breaking the girl's façade was to make a plea to the part of her that wanted to be helped. Step two was to lay out all the facts in a cold and calculating way.

"I'm not brave enough to let you." Judy would be lying if she said she was expecting that response. This may be easier than she anticipated. It also could make it harder.

Judy let the response hang in the air for a minute. She wanted Rachel to realize she had said it. She wanted Rachel to make the next move.

And then she did. Unconsciously. Rachel had moved her body as far away from Judy as possible without actually moving. Game.

"And why not?" She was not about to let Rachel forget she just asked for help in a big way.

"Do you not think I can?" No response. That's okay Judy has raised and is raising a teenager. Silence was golden… until it's not.

"You asked Miss Corcoran for help." Judy watched as Rachel pursed her lips. Interesting.

"What made her qualified to help you?"

"I wasn't planning on it. I just did. And 'cause she's my mother. She's supposed to help me." Wow, that girl talks fast. Nevertheless, set.

"Well I'm a qualified professional. I get paid to help you. I'm supposed to help you. Does that help?" She nods. Okay time for the tough part.

"Rachel, tell me about your parents."

"She doesn't want me, which is okay because I don't want her either. She has a stupid lumpy couch. And it's hard too. I mean how can a couch be hard and lumpy? And who owns one anyway? Wouldn't you just get rid of it and buy a new one? It's not like she even likes it. She refers to it as uncomfortable…" Is this kid really rambling on about a couch?

"We're not talking about Miss Corcoran, right now. We are talking about your parents. Your fathers. Hiram and Leroy, correct?"

"They're dead. There is nothing to talk about."

"You must be very sad."

"I was, at first. Now I'm angry."

"Because they left you all alone?" Almost there, just a little bit further to go.

"Yea." Match.

"How did they die?" Rachel turned in on herself again. But Judy was still confident that she won.

"Rachel I only asked because it is very unusual for you to have slipped through the cracks in the system. I run a tight ship here. Newly orphaned children don't go unnoticed." Judy needed Rachel to see the holes in her story. She needed to get the truth. She needed to make sure Rachel didn't just have a row with her fathers and then run off to Miss Corcoran and beg for sanctuary. Or that she was just unhappy with her current guardians.

"I don't know what to say. They died." Suddenly it seems like Rachel is okay to talk details. Something was definitely up. Good thing she has her underlings checking everything else. Judy has seen one too many kids lie.

"How, when and where? I ask only because we are having trouble locating a death certificate for either of them."

"Um June 29th, and a car crash. I don't know where. I wasn't with them and I didn't really pay attention when I was informed."

"Okay. How were you informed?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did you find out that they died?"

"I got a phone call." Judy took a second to really observe Rachel. It had been clear that Rachel was lying before but now she's not so sure. The girl is exhibiting classic signs of trauma. She was anxious and nervous as well being hyperaware of her surroundings and her answers.

"Did you have to identify the bodies at all?" Unfortunately Judy has to keep going and being direct seems to elicit the most responses.

"No." Rachel paused. "The guy said the bodies would be delivered to our local morgue, Deadquarium, and then I'd be called again. I can't remember if I ever was." Judy knew without a doubt that what Rachel just said was a lie. She just doesn't know why the girl is lying.

"Okay. And that's it? Their lawyer didn't contact you? A will wasn't read? You have just been on your own? Taking care of yourself?" Rachel nods. That is just not acceptable. Judy stares her down until she gets a verbal response.

"Yes. No. No. Yes. Sort of."

"What do you mean sort of?"

"I haven't been doing a good job of taking care of myself." Judy nods. She almost bursts out laughing when she sees that Rachel is attempting her stare down.

"That's brave of you to admit."

"I guess. So what now?"

"Well now I'm going to go and talk to my employees and see if they could verify your story…"

"You think I'm lying?" Yes. But she wasn't going to outright say so.

"It doesn't matter if I do or not. I just need to make sure you weren't."

"So you think I am?" In that moment Judy felt like she was talking to her youngest, her pain in the ass, too much like her father yet not at all like him daughter.

"Regardless of what I think I'm required by law to ensure that you were not lying."

"Yea I get what you are saying, I'm not stupid. I want to know your opinion on the matter." Wow, she has never wanted to slap a kid so much in all her life.

"Yes I do."

* * *

Shelby was startled awake. She is not sure exactly when she had nodded off but it wasn't dark yet. She looked out the window and saw that the sun had set. She then looked up at Judy who was offering a bemused smile. Shelby stood up.

"Sorry about that." She apologized for falling asleep. It wasn't that she hadn't slept well, even though she hadn't, but because she had read all of the magazines and the battery in her phone had been drained and she was bored.

"It's quite alright."

"How is Rachel?"

"She was being a little difficult in the beginning but nothing I couldn't handle."

"I told her to be good." Judy laughed.

"Yes, well, she's a teenager. I was never very good at being good." Shelby laughed at that. She too was not good at that especially when it was asked of her.

"Right. So what's next?"

"Well did someone come and collect a DNA sample?" Shelby nodded.

"Well I have an emergency petition to temporary reinstate your parental rights for when the test comes back in. If it comes back positive." Again Shelby nodded.

"I have a question though. If the test is negative, would you be willing to foster her or adopt her?" Did Judy really have to ask that? That question has been plaguing her mind for the last twenty four hours.

"I uh." She paused. "Am I a bad person if I walk away?"

"Just a person."

**PAGE BREAK**

It was not the answer Judy was hoping for. She was hoping that Rachel's story, however implausible it was, would have a happy ending. Now she had to worry about how Rachel would react to the foster system. She imagines not well.

"Just a person." She responds to Shelby's question. Judy doesn't judge. Well that's not quite true. She is not supposed to judge.

"So uh? What happens to Rachel?" This woman baffled Judy's mind. On the one hand she wanted Rachel only if she was her daughter; on the other she was super concerned about the welfare of Rachel, regardless of any test.

Judy had a thought. A bad thought. A thought that would surely get her fired and possibly locked up. But her morning was sucky, her day had sucked and her night was going to suck. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

Rachel deserved more.

"You know I don't really do this, can't do this actually. But what if you took her home with you until the results come back in? If not she's going to go to a group home, which is overflowing, and may get lost in the chaos over there. But you could spare her all that and take her home with you."

"Really?"

"Yes. If you want to, tell nobody about it until the results come in, and don't abuse her." She hoped Shelby says yes.

"Absolutely."

"Great!"

* * *

Please Review!


	4. Poker Face

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! So sorry this took so long. I had major writer's block and then when it cleared I just couldn't get this chapter where I wanted it to go. (Unfortunately or fortunately, this means that I am behind one chapter on my story progression board.)

I know everybody keeps asking about Rachel's health. I had wanted to address it in this chapter but alas, you'll have to wait. Shelby's family will be introduced more and more over the next few chapters before they all swoop in for a reunion of sorts, if all goes as planned.

I really want to answer all of your questions but I can't really do so without ruining the plot. The best I can say is that the story is titled "The Lies that Lead Me to You" for a reason. I think, as a reader, you should be suspicious of everything Rachel says and thinks right now. Shelby is a bit more honest and straight forward but she is not without her own "lies." In fact nobody in this story is exempt from the 'lying' theme.

And without further ado... Enjoy!

Chapter 4 Poker Face

Rachel is a bad poker player. She has known this for years. She likes to gloat too much for her own good and for the game. And she hates to lose. Poker requires a player to remain unaffected by the cards. Poker requires the player to read their opponents and to not be read. Rachel prefers to play the cards. You can't win with pocket deuces. And bluffing is a disastrous move that leads Rachel into the arms of the so-called authorities. So it's quite a surprise for Rachel to see the missing set of twos revealed in the flop. It's even more of a surprise that she is sitting in Shelby's car singing along to Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' with her while on the way to Living Spaces and Mattress Depot to shop for a bed. In fact, Rachel is so moved by all of this that she vows to open up to Shelby more and let her in.

Rachel smiles a little bit. It is clear that Shelby doesn't know this song very well but is trying to sing along with it. Rachel barely knows the song. It only came out last week and is hardly a radio hit. She only knew it because she had spent hours at the record store after school listening to it there. While Lady Gaga isn't Barbara or Celine quality, Rachel knows that she will be a superstar. Once upon a time Rachel had dreamed of her name holding its own next to those of her idols. The evil queen cast a curse though and Rachel woke up to reality.

"It's marvelous." Rachel interrupted. "You were singing motherless."

"Oh thanks, that makes much more sense."

"Wouldn't want you to sound ridiculous."

"Of course not! I owe you my reputation." It seemed to Rachel that finally the awkwardness was dissipating and comfort was starting to set in.

"I will hold it near and dear." She added a little dramatic flair to her response. It felt good to just be a teenager for once. She was so tired of being moody and unpredictable.

"So I don't know about you, but I am getting hungry. So would you like to run through a drive-thru of some kind real quick or do you just want to shop quickly and then go home for dinner?" Shelby sounded nervous asking that. Rachel wanted to say something to make Shelby relax but couldn't find the words until too much time had passed.

"Rachel?"

"Oh um. I guess we could get something quickly. We shouldn't make a habit out it though, it is really unhealthy."

"Okay? Would you prefer to wait then?"

"No. I'm quite hungry as well. For a place dedicated to ensuring the health and welfare of children they seem to neglect the health part."

"I'm sorry about that."

"I mean it's not like you asked them not to feed and water me. I don't think anyway." Rachel smiled big to indicate that she was just joking around. She hoped it would make Shelby relax a little and not start up a dramatic conversation.

"No I mean… This whole affair. I'm sorry about it. I just…"

"Shelby?" Rachel cut her off. Clearly this woman was on a mission to make her cry.

"Shelby. I appreciate you keeping me in the loop, but it's not necessary. I'm a big girl but I'm still a kid and I don't want to know everything."

"Sorry. It's just… I just want you to understand that I wasn't abandoning you."

"It means the world to me that I'm not going to some shelter or home. But you are way too honest for your own good."

"Do you mean to imply that you have been lying to me this whole time?" Ooh! That's a little spot on and too close to comfort for Rachel. Must deflect!

"Wouldn't you like to know?" That's not quite what she wanted to say. Damn her impulsive mouth. For some reason even when she thinks before she speaks she still says the wrong thing.

"Funny girl." Rachel beamed at that.

"_Funny. Did you hear that? Funny. Yeah the guy said_…" Rachel started to sing. Perfectly, in her opinion.

"_Honey, you're a funny girl." _Shelby joined in and it was pretty awesome. Why were they singing some pop song when their voices were clearly meant for Broadway?

"You're pretty amazing." Rachel complimented Shelby. What? She knows a good singer when she hears one.

"So are you."

"You're just saying that."

"I am not! Like I said yesterday, you are great. But your song choice was stale. When you go in for an audition the song choice is more important than the singing. If you choose to sing a song like _On My Own_, _Memory_ or _Defying Gravity_ then you can't be good or great; you have to be perfect, spectacular and different."

"So what song should I have sung?" Rachel has to admit that Shelby was giving some good advice. Too bad it was all for naught.

"Something familiar, but not overused. If you were going to sing a song from _Wicked_ I'd go with _No Good Deed_. It's powerful and shows off range while allowing for softness. From _Les Miserable's_, though you are a girl, I would go with _Empty Chairs at Empty Tables_ to show off your emotional range. Other good songs to audition with? _The Sacred Bird_ from _Miss Saigon_, _I Will Love You_ from _Marie Christine; I Miss the Mountains_ from _Next to Normal_, and _Stop and See Me_ from _Weird Romance_. But it all depends greatly on the part you're auditioning for and the casting director."

"Wow. Those are really good songs to sing. Have you ever been on Broadway?"

"No No. I wish though. I did the whole surrogacy thing so I could keep trying for Broadway. I got cast as Maria in West Side Story but it was Off-Off Broadway. But then things happen, as things always do. I ended up giving up and falling back on my teaching credentials. I was very sad for a very long time."

"I don't want to pry or anything or open up a weird emotional conversation, but why? Why did you give up? You were almost there." Rachel had a feeling that despite her preface she had opened up a can of crying worms.

"What is with you being afraid of emotion?" Not quite where Rachel envisioned this conversation going. Time to get defensive.

"I'm not! You're just weirdly open about things."

"I swear Rachel you are acting so emotionally crippled." Emotionally crippled? What is that supposed to mean?

"I am not!" Well great. Now she just sounds like a petulant child.

"You are. Whenever things get personal for you, you respond that we don't know each other. And then when you ask me personal questions you cross your fingers and hope I don't reveal anything. How are we supposed to get to know each other if all we can talk about is superficial?" The woman had a point.

"I'm trying. I am! I just don't know you well enough to be really open."

"See! That right there! That is exactly what I am talking about. We can't get to know each other if you refuse to participate. We will never be comfortable around each other if you don't try."

"I just mean that I don't know you well enough to comfort you when you cry. I'm actually not a really comforting person. I suck at it. I always say the wrong things and make it about me. That's all I meant." It's true. Rachel has lost many potential friends by her inability to comfort someone. Crying people scare her. She can reassemble a broken computer in less than twenty minutes but people don't have switchboards and microchips. Plus they always inevitably get snot on you. It's like crying people turn into infants.

"You probably get that from me." Huh really? That's kind of cool. Score one for nature. Although, her dads weren't exactly emotional role models either. Nevermind. The nature vs. nurture debate is still undecided.

They pulled into the drive-thru of a Taco Bell. Rachel ordered a quesadilla and cinnamon twists with a small Dr. Pepper. Shelby ordered a burrito and water. Rachel tried to tell Shelby that she would be shitting her pants later, obviously she phrased it better. Although judging by the look Shelby was sending her way she didn't really succeed.

"Hush you!" Right, like Rachel is capable of being quiet and keeping her opinions to herself.

"So you're emotionally bankrupt, huh?" Rachel watched as Shelby handed her credit/debit card to the cashier. She was delighted to see Shelby do a double take at the question.

"I like that. Emotionally bankrupt. I like that phrase."

"I'm glad. Are you going to answer it?"

"Yea yea. My students and co-workers call me the Ice Queen. I told my sister about it and then the next day the whole family is calling me and texting me and emailing me about instances in which I showed no emotion. It's a running joke in the family now. It's actually very irritating." Rachel was amused by the story. In those few seconds she kind of felt like she belonged.

"But I'm not really. It's true that I can be very…" There was a pause as Shelby tried to come up with the right word. "stone-faced. And I do, for the most part, remain unaffected by otherwise emotional events, and I am terrible at comforting people." Shelby reached over and collected their food. She handed the soda over to Rachel who greedily sucked it down. She should have ordered a large.

"Thirsty?" Rachel nodded her head. Shelby handed her the bottle of water and Rachel took a few huge gulps.

"Parched. All that talking and stuff."

"You know I don't believe that for a second right?" Well now she does. She's also not really sure what there is to not believe. She is thirsty. She takes another sip.

"Judy told me you were being very difficult and hardly answered any questions." Huh.

"Okay. But my throat really is dry." Shelby nodded her head.

"Why were you being difficult earlier? They were only trying to help you and they can't do that if you refuse to help yourself."

Rachel was quiet for a little bit. She didn't really know how to answer the question. She didn't want to say something and have Shelby turn the car around and drop her off at a group home. She also didn't want to reveal her hand. But Shelby was asking for honesty. This whole time she had been asking for Rachel to open up to her, to let her in. And it struck Rachel that maybe in order to avoid being abandoned again she'd have to be truthful. But the bad poker player in her refused to turn her cards over and refused to bluff. So she folded.

"Honestly? When I went to your school yesterday, I just wanted to meet you. I didn't have ulterior motives. I wasn't going to ask you to save me, or that I needed to be saved. I just wanted to meet my mom and see if I was good enough for her, you" Rachel took a bite of her quesadilla. It tasted like cardboard. She popped a twist in her mouth. Yum. Cinnamon flavored cardboard.

"When I told you about everything, that was an impulsive accident. Maybe subconsciously I wanted you to take notice and take me in, maybe I'm just an idiot. Regardless I wanted it to be you. Not some person that gets a weekly stipend and treats me worse than a dog. If someone was going to save me I wanted it to be my mom, the person I should have always been with."

* * *

It had been a long day for Shelby. A long day of sitting around and doing nothing. And despite doing nothing all day she felt so emotionally drained. And then Judy told her she could take Rachel home with her. For a moment there she felt restored. So she squared her shoulders and prepared herself for some more awkward bonding. But Rachel, ever the surprising one, was quite the chatterbox. It was such a drastic change from this morning. It boggled her mind. But then she supposes that Rachel might feel more comfortable with her now, now that she isn't the bad guy anymore.

Listening to Rachel be emotionally honest with her was quite the surprise. It made her feel awkward. Any minute now she's going to have a snotty crying teen in her car and she's the only one around to calm her down. She wasn't lying when she told Rachel that she too was emotionally bankrupt, (she really likes that phrase), to properly comfort someone, especially strangers. But then again Rachel wasn't exactly a stranger, she hopes so anyway.

"Rachel. Um. Earlier when we talking about my Off-Off Broadway days I told you I was sad to leave it behind. I was sad because I couldn't stop thinking about you. You would have been two when that happened. I was really messed up about the surrogacy and it kept getting worse and worse, so bad that I kept messing up my lines. I even sang out of tune.

The reason I am telling you this is because I always wanted you. True I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to get pregnant. But I was young and I had a failing, fleeting dream. I don't know if you know what it is like to see your dream fade out but it's pretty horrible. I was desperate. So I agreed to it. Your fathers, they seemed so perfect, so loving. They dreamed of you so much and so badly and I felt the passion in their words. At the time agreeing was easy. I gave them their dream, they gave me mine." Shelby stopped at a red light and took advantage of the moment to regroup. She glanced over at Rachel. Rachel was not giving anything away. Man, she'd be a great poker player!

"Um. Shortly before you were born your father Hiram presented me with a contract. It stated that I was not allowed to contact you in any way until you were eighteen. I didn't want to sign it. But I did. So when you were born I never got to hold you. I barely got to see you. And it killed me.

The point is, is when I hear you say that you want me to want you… That when you say you should have always been with me… It kills me. Because I have always wanted that too! And the reason you were being difficult to Judy, which you never answered by the way, is because you were mad at me. Yeah, for putting you in that position, which is okay.

I have never lost a parent, or both. I have never experienced the pain of being orphaned. I haven't and I can't imagine the pain that you have felt, that you feel. And whether or not any of that pain has healed, I know you are still hurting. And I can only imagine how much it hurt to have to answer any of those questions. I do. And I am truly sorry for putting you through that, but I had, have, my reasons, which we won't get into. Okay?" She doesn't really talk that much, especially about the surrogacy. Fourteen years later and the only person who knows about it is Patrick.

"Okay." Rachel nodded her head and looked out the window. Maybe the kid had a point. They shouldn't get into the mushy details.

"What do you think of this for the ultimate set list?" Apparently they could only safely talk about music.

"_Do You Hear the People Sing?_ from _Les Mis_, _La Vie Boheme_, obviously from _RENT_, and then _Wheels of a Dream Reprise_ from _Ragtime_?" Shelby had to admit it was a pretty good set list if she had the powerful, emotional voices needed to sing such a song as _Wheels of a Dream_.

"Well, it has a pretty well defined theme, a risky theme. Not many show choir judges appreciate thematic set lists, so it is gamble. And La Vie Boheme, while I do personally love the song, I always imagined myself as a pretty good Maureen, the song would have to be heavily edited, and I'm not a fan of censorship. But to end on Wheels of a Dream, the reprise is such a genius idea. But the song has to be done right, and even my best singers could not do it. Frankly I'm not sure I could sing it well enough."

"'Cause the song asks for such a powerful and mature voice. I think it concludes the set really well. I mean it is about hope for the future, for a change, but it's sung in such a sad way, because they won't live to see it. And really the whole theme of the set list, while it is about revolution, it's more than that. Subtle or not, it is about people asking for a revolution, for a change. And it is portrayed through different eras, which brings to thought that it doesn't matter about the era or the century or the underlying themes. I mean all revolutions spring up from the underprivileged saying 'no more.'" Again Shelby was struck by how talkative Rachel could really be but more than that she was so impressed by how smart she was. She grinned. Her kid was smart.

"You must do really well in school." She commented, gritting her teeth together and hoping that Rachel did clam up.

"Well I don't really have any friends so I read a lot." That kind of sucks. Nobody should have to resort to books for companionship.

They arrive at the furniture store before Shelby can come up with a response. As she gets out of the car she watches as Rachel does the same. Rachel appears to have great difficulty in getting up. Last night Shelby had noticed the same sluggish behavior but had chalked it up to fatigue. Now, she wasn't so sure but she didn't know how to go about asking about it. Obviously Rachel was playing her cards close to her chest. Shelby was no fool. Despite her reluctance and perceived inability to be a mother she did still know a thing or two about teenagers. Maybe it was about time she started to wise up and stop letting this kid walk miles around her.

Shaking her head Shelby rushed around the car to help Rachel get up. She wondered how Rachel would play this. Rachel just pushed her away and forced herself out of the car. She leaned up against the car. This kid was sick or something.

"Leave it!" Rachel hissed out. Yea, she's not going to play by Rachel's rules anymore.

"I'm worried."

"I'm flattered." Is hitting a snarky teenager against the law or just frowned upon?

"Do you just want to go home?"

"No. I want a bed." Right. Material girl in a material world and all that.

Rachel pushed past Shelby and marched on towards the store. Shelby took two steps and easily caught up to the girl. She grabbed Rachel at her elbow to stop her escape and turned her around.

"I'm your mother. Don't lie to me!" Shelby is shocked to hear those words come from her mouth. She must be channeling her mother. She is too young for this!

"When? When did I lie to you?" That girl is seriously trying to wake the dragon! (But she does have a point.)

"Rachel? Are you well?" Shelby holds her breath.

"I'm a little woozy. I must be coming down with a cold or the flu or something. Plus you know malnourished, dehydrated and all that jazz." Shelby nodded. It was cold and flu season. And Rachel had been living by herself since summer. Everything Rachel said was one hundred percent plausible. Call it whatever you want but Shelby couldn't make herself believe it. She was just lied to. How annoying!

"Please don't worry about me." Was that small, almost inaudible sound coming from Rachel? She wished she knew what she said.

Sighing Shelby let go of Rachel and let her run off into the store. This conversation was just beginning. It was time for a re-deal.

* * *

It took just over two hours to find and purchase a bed and mattress for Rachel. Shelby pulled some strings and forked over extra money to get the day bed delivered tomorrow morning. Who knew lying on mattresses was so draining?

By the time they walked back into Shelby's house it was late and had just started to rain. Cold and shivering Rachel asked to take a shower before going to sleep.

The walk up the stairs was so difficult. Rachel was aware of Shelby's disbelieving eyes and had to exert extra energy into putting on a show. She needed to appear like the twenty or so individual stairs weren't steeper than Mt. Everest. She could be winded once she was in the bathroom. She could huff and puff and blow the whole damn door down once she was out of sight. Shelby was not to know.

Rachel barely made it to Shelby's bed before she passed out. There would be no shower.

* * *

While Rachel was upstairs showering Shelby was trying to envision where to put the day bed. Ideally she was going to move into a two bedroom house or condo. But ideal situations took time and effort. Figuring the best possible layout, Shelby decided that her couch had to go. It had needed to go many years ago.

It's not that the couch is possessed or evil or hideous. Shelby actually quite likes the look of it. True, it's not very comfortable, but that hardly qualifies it as evil. But the sentiment that went with the couch, that was evil.

See, before Patrick there was Brian. Shelby had loved Brian. She had wanted to marry Brian. She wanted to have his babies. She would have given anything to have a happily ever after with him. But when she got sick, he went to the airport. When she was told she'd never bare a child, he left the country. (And if it was commercially available, Shelby reckons he'd of left the planet.)

The couch. Yea, it was Brian's. Why didn't she dispose of it? She just never got around to it. At first it was because she was recovering and didn't want to deal with it. And then it was because she couldn't afford a new couch, followed by a larger to-do list. Her mother thinks she's holding on to it because she secretly wants Brian to come back. Her mother is wrong. She just now finally has the chance to get rid of it. One more night and then the couch, and her mother's stupid accusations would be out the door, just like Brian.

Oh speak of the devil! Her mother is calling.

Shelby looks up at the stairs. She couldn't hear the water running but it was a long day.

"Hi." She answers the phone. She really just wanted to press the ignore button but then her dad would call and yell at her, then her siblings would do the same. She hated her family!

"Shelby sweetie." Nothing good comes from that!

"Yes Mom."

"Shay called me earlier. She said, and I quote, that you were being a bitch." Oh so that is how Shay wants to play it. She should know better than to tattle on her siblings. Siblings who know secrets.

"Oh yeah? That's what the weasel said?"

"Now Shelby don't take it out on your sister."

"I don't need a lecture mom. And I'm not going to apologize. She's a big girl, who has two tattoos, by the way, and a piercing who knows where." Shay didn't actually have any piercings, except her ears. And she only had one.

"Besides, she cancelled on me! So she could hook up with some guy she doesn't know. I made plans. I mean, it's like she expected me to sit around and wallow because my kid sister can't come sleep on my couch. I was busy when she called. She wouldn't shut up and you all know how I can get when I am busy and frustrated." Shelby continued. Poor Shay.

Shelby looked up towards the stairs again. She still couldn't hear the water running. Was Rachel waiting patiently for Shelby to get the phone? Or had something happened? Rachel was looking pretty bad. Maybe she should go and buy some of that tea Rachel was ranting about?

"I know what you are doing Shelby Louise! And it's not going to work!" It actually already did. Any minute now her mother is going to start to rant about how irresponsible Shay is.

"Cheyenne is just a young woman exploring her youth. But I swear, kids these days are so unhealthy with the choices they make. Tattoos and piercings? I am going to skin that girl alive when I see her next. And inviting some stranger into her pants? She better be safe and protect herself. I'm not ready for my baby to have a baby, or for another one of my daughters getting sick. God forbid!" Shelby smirked and let her mother rant on. Come tomorrow morning her mother would wise up and call to lecture Shelby on her deflection tactics. But tonight Shay was going to have to deal with embarrassing texts and calls from various family members to ensure that she 'put a glove on' or some other euphemism for safe sex that no person wants to hear from their mother or father.

Shelby walked up the stairs to check on Rachel. She came across her bedroom door, which was closed. She would have knocked. She really would have! But she didn't want to alert her mother on the phone. She opened the door a crack. Please don't be naked!

Rachel wasn't naked. She was sound asleep on the bed. Aww.

"What? Shelby what was that?" Did she aww out loud? That must be why her mother is suddenly screeching into her ear.

"I uh stubbed my toe." She's told better lies.

"Mom, I have to go. I'll call you later." Later, like later next month. She hung up the phone. She tiptoed over to Rachel. She was going to put her hand on her forehead to check her temperature but Rachel chose that moment to turn over onto her stomach. Ugh. Even when the girl is sleeping she is trying to run away.

Shelby went to cover Rachel with a blanket but instead stared at Rachel's shoes. Should she?

"Erg!" She let out a noise in frustration. She needs to stop being so hesitant. Besides, motherly duty or not, it was her bed and there was to be no shoes on the bed!

She grabbed hold on one of Rachel's sneakers and tugged it off. The shoe was practically gone and appeared to be too big for the tiny foot. She took the other shoe off. The socks were soaking wet and upon better inspection so was the rest of Rachel's clothes. Great! She took the socks off and threw them in her hamper. She was going to have to wake up Rachel. There was no way around it. But first the girl needed warm and dry clothes.

Shelby ran down the stairs and threw open the door to her garage (or what should be a garage but instead houses her grand piano and her washing machine and dryer). She opens up her dryer. It's filled with her soft pajamas. They would be too big for Rachel but until Shelby can take her shopping it will have to do. She closes the door again and then starts the dryer again. In about ten minutes they will be nice and toasty.

With warm pj's in hand Shelby rushed up the stairs. Once in the room though her feet skidded to a stop. She really didn't want to wake up Rachel. She looks so adorable all flushed and unconscious. However the little sense Shelby did had encouraged her to wake Rachel up. Rachel needed out of those clothes and there was no way Shelby was going to strip the girl naked while she slept. That was crossing way too many boundaries.

"Rachel?" Maybe the girl was a light sleeper and would wake up easily.

No response. Nope. Not easy.

"Rachel?" She called out a little louder. Still nothing. She put her hand on Rachel's shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. That earned her a few whimpers. Progress. She shook a little harder and was rewarded with a groan. Almost there.

"Rachel?" She added with a harder still shake. The girl turned over and opened her eyes.

"You need to change into something dry." Shelby wanted to sound less teacher-esque and more motherly. Instead it came out rather forced and fake. Shelby is sure she's a better actor. But then again, you can't really act out your life.

"Uh huh." Rachel grumbled then rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She blindly reached over and grabbed the offered pajamas and then, as if she's never been asleep, hopped out of the bed and dashed towards the bathroom.

Weird. An hour ago Rachel could hardly stand, now she was bouncing with energy? Shelby shook her heard. Oh to be young again!

She quickly stripped off the wet sheets. She was in the middle of putting on the top sheet when Rachel emerged from the bathroom, not looking quite as chipper as she was minutes past.

"You feeling okay?" She put the question out there. She didn't expect a response. A direct one anyway.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold." Is that what they are calling it these days?

"Well I'm going to make a doctor's appointment for you, okay?" Shelby glanced up to gauge Rachel's response. Sooner or later Rachel would reveal her tell.

"I don't like doctors."

"Me either. But unfortunately you don't a choice."

"What? Why not?"

"'Cause you're the kid!"

Please review!


	5. Earthquake

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did, it wouldn't suck.

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews. I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I just wan't satisfied with it.  
This is the long awaited chapter where you will find out what is wrong with Rachel. And without giving too much away you will be introduced to another family and learn the names of all of Shelby's siblings. Anyway, enjoy the story. It's a bumpy ride!

Chapter 5 Earthquake

When Shelby was twelve her mom and dad took the family to California. Shelby had whined like a little girl. She had wanted to go to Broadway! Nevertheless the Corcoran family flew out to Los Angeles and rented a little house on the beach in Malibu for a week. Everyone was having a good time. Everyone except little Shelby! Every time she tried to get over herself and have fun her brother Christopher would scare her. For instance, when she wanted to play in the ocean Christopher would tell her about sharks and how they ate little girls. Shelby was not gullible by any means. She had gone to her father and asked him if Sharks were in the ocean and he said yes. Shelby was not going to be eaten by a shark so she watched as her sisters splashed around in the tide. When Shelby decided she wanted to go for a hike in the hills her brother Christopher told her about Mountain Lions (her response that she wasn't scared of any _Mountain_ cat went unheard) and how they stalked their prey for miles at some distance and then pounced on them when they least expected it. She asked her older sister Alexis if that was true. It was. So Shelby didn't go hiking. Instead she helped her mom make lunch and dinner that night. When Shelby decided she was going to play in the field across the ways Christopher told her about the fires and that if she got trapped in one she'd never be rescued. Shelby didn't ask anyone about fires, she knew it was true. And on the morning before the family left Christopher asked what she had planned for the day. She told him she was too scared to do anything. She was just going to stay in the house and watch movies and practice her singing. Shelby remembers Christopher going quiet for a second. Then he said that she couldn't even do that because of the earthquakes. He went on and on about how unpredictable they were and how destructive they could be. He talked about the 1906 San Francisco earthquake for quite some time before her dad stepped into the room and told Christopher to knock it off. Her dad sat her down and gave her this big speech about how not to be afraid of the scary things in the world. All she really heard was that her brother was being an ass and would be grounded when they got back home.

As luck would have it, or not, as they were sitting down for dinner that night the earth had started to move. At first it felt a little like a rollercoaster ride but then things started to fall and then her mom was tugging her down to the floor and rolling her under the table. Shelby locked eyes with her sister Ellie and saw the panic in them. She heard her mom start to scream for her dad and her baby sister Shay. She heard Christopher and Alexis shout that they were okay. And then everything stopped. She heard her dad calling out for everyone like a role call. Her mom started to pick up the dishes that fell to the floor. And then that was it. There were some jokes and some prayers and a lot watching the news that night. But otherwise everything remained unchanged. If that was an earthquake then Shelby had nothing to fear.

Of course Shelby grew up and learned of the very real danger an earthquake can pose. She learned about the famous Northridge earthquake of '94 and the San Francisco earthquake of '89. She learned about ground acceleration and epicenter and magnitudes. She learned about fires and property damage and casualties. She had learned that earthquakes should be feared. But she didn't live in an earthquake state and they didn't happen every day and a little knowledge goes a long way.

But right now, right this very moment, she felt the earth move again.

* * *

Rachel had made up her mind. She was not going to the doctor. She knew what they were going to say and she didn't particularly want to hear it again. (Except, Shelby made it pretty damn clear that she was going to see the doctor.) And much like the wizard he would be full of nothing but silly platitudes. So, Rachel decided, it was time to win her Oscar.

Rachel considered herself to be a pretty dynamic actor, after all she had been acting her whole life whether she wanted to or not. But she was not stupid. She couldn't act away test results or serious illness. She would not be able to fool the doctor. She could, however, fool Shelby. But how? Think, think, think!

Maybe she could try to pretend that the need to see the doctor had passed? No. Shelby had put on her maternal shoes and would insist she go anyway.

Maybe she could postpone it? Naw. That wouldn't work. She'd just be sitting here doing to same thing only it would be next week.

Maybe she could break the car. She had always wanted to tinker with an engine. But then she'd be in trouble and there is public transportation. She needed something elaborate. So elaborate that it would seem natural and Shelby couldn't possibly have any suspicions.

Rachel could insist on going to see her own doctor. He diagnosed her so he'd be confused but she could say she was feeling really bad and couldn't see her specialist. Insert fake doctor name here. He'd look her over, say the same, and then he'd call the fake specialist with the fake number. Or maybe she could find a real specialist at a real hospital and he'd call them to report findings that some doctor wouldn't care about. She'd have to convince Shelby to stay outside the exam room and convince her that she doesn't need to speak with the doctor. That last part could be tricky. But Rachel could play the trust card. It might make Shelby suspicious but in the end it would be worth it.

First step: Find a specialist.

Rachel looked at her surroundings. She was in Shelby's room. There was no computer, not even a phone. She could ask Shelby if she could use a computer but then Shelby might be able to track her websites. Rachel could erase the cookies on the computer but nothing is ever really wiped clean and Rachel didn't want to chance that Shelby was a techno wiz. And even then it would raise Shelby's suspicions in the last step. The last thing she wanted to do was give cause to a paranoid parental figure. She's heard they are worse than the normal ones. Not that Rachel knows anything about normal parents.

Well there is always plan B. That is a fake doctor's name and number. Once again Rachel looked around the room trying to figure out a good name. It couldn't be too common and it couldn't be too weird. Somehow Rachel doesn't think Wally Carpeto is good enough. Erg! This is so frustrating!

Wait! Is that a purse? Bingo! Jackpot!

Rachel doesn't really like to snoop through people's things. It's unbecoming of a lady. Plus she would just about commit homicide if someone did that to her. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides Rachel was only going to look for a phone. These days a phone could be more useful than a computer and Rachel just hoped that Shelby had left hers in the purse.

After digging through the purse for just under a minute Rachel was unable to find a cell phone. She was getting frustrated. She only had so much time before Shelby started to wonder where she was. And she was not going to be caught red handed, so to speak! Just before she completely lost patience her fingertips grazed the surface of what felt like a business card. Realizing she didn't have very many options left she pulled out the card. If she made her doctor call a seamstress or a manicurist then so be it. She was not going down without a fight!

But as the card surfaced and Rachel read the words she couldn't believe her luck. It was the business card of a doctor in Columbus, Dr. Mari Rivera. Dr. Rivera was a specialist, of what kind Rachel couldn't tell, the card was worn, dirty and ripping ever so slightly, tell tale signs that the card had been forgotten in the depths of Shelby's purse. Regardless of the condition Rachel just struck gold. Her secret was safe.

* * *

It's not like Rachel wanted to die or anything. At least she doesn't think so, anyway. Sometimes it's hard to admit what her motives are for keeping so many secrets. (Not as hard as keeping track of all the lies she tells.) And she wonders almost every night if she even knows what they are.

Shelby seems like a good person. Rachel wants to trust her instincts and to a lesser extent Shelby's but just can't. The world is not as black and white as the kids at school seem to believe, but it is also not full of color or strictly gray tones either. The world, much like a person, is dynamic. Sometimes the best intentions for one person are the worst for another. And Rachel feels caught in between, always questioning and never doing.

It would be easy, Rachel supposes, to blame her jaded life view on her fathers and her childhood. It would be easy to claim that she's this way because she grew up lacking a mother. It would be easy to put this on homosexual parenting. But Rachel never takes the easy way out. When it comes to flight or fight, Rachel always chooses wrong. If in an earthquake faced with the split second decision to run to a doorway and stand under it or to dive under a sturdy surface, Rachel will always make the choice that lands her in the hospital.

Which is why, she gathers, she is keeping Shelby in the dark and preparing herself to die. Knowing this, Rachel very much wants to just come clean, tell the truth, all of it, and be taken care of. But the insecurities at the forefront of her mind tell her that that is the wrong choice. Even forcing herself to go against her instincts is just as wrong as following them. It's a vicious cycle and her bed has already been made. It's just time to lie in it. To die in it.

* * *

"Rachel Berry." She hears her name being called by the nurse. She takes a deep breath and turns to look at Shelby. She hopes her eyes are not pleading with her to come with. She doesn't want to receive the news again.

Rachel stands up and gives Shelby a small smile. Shelby doesn't deserve this, any of this. Shelby is a good person!

In the examination room Rachel talked with her doctor about her diagnosis. She lies. She hands over Dr. Rivera's card and tells him to fax the results to her. She'll be in early next week anyway. And really one week won't make too much of a difference.

She meets Shelby in the waiting room. Tells her it's a nasty cold but the doctor did take some blood for testing and would call if anything comes up. She can tell Shelby doesn't want to leave it at that but does so anyway.

Mission accomplished!

* * *

Dr. Mari Rivera had had a long day. Between patients and phone calls to her lawyer and the endless stack of paperwork she hadn't had a moment to rest. She sighed. She signed up for this when she enrolled in med school.

Mari rang the doorbell to her estranged husband's home.

"Hola!" That was not the face she wanted to be greeted with. She rolled her eyes and gave a little head nod. She stepped inside.

"Mami, I'll be down in a second!" Her daughter called down to her. Teenagers!

"We could avoid all of this if you just moved home." Mari was so tired of this. She was not the bad guy in their marriage and she was sick of him treating her like she was.

"You're the one that slept with that _puta_." She throws at him. She gives a satisfied smirk when he flinches away from the comment.

"I made a mistake Mari. I'm not perfect."

"I'm not perfect either but I didn't ignore my vows." Mari hisses at him. She really doesn't like fighting around her daughter but if he keeps bringing it up then she'll just have to get used to it.

"_Por favor mi amor_, forgive me."

"No, Rick. You hurt me. I'm still hurting. I can barely look at you." For a smart man, he never seemed to grasp that whole hell hath no fury thing.

"Okay Okay. For what it is worth, I'm sorry."

"It's worth nothing."

The two ex-lovers stood silently and awkwardly for a few moments. They both kept glancing at the stairs. Their daughter's misguided attempts at getting them back together did not go unnoticed.

"Did you get those results I faxed over?" Rick asked her.

"Yeah, I did, _Gilipollas_, you broke confidentiality."

"What? No I didn't. You're her doctor."

Mari stood up a little straighter and looked him straight in the eyes. Ricardo Lopez was a cheating scoundrel but he was a good doctor. She knew he knew confidentiality codes. He almost went to prison protecting them. When the fax came in, she mostly thought he was a dumbass who made an error. She was angry but she wasn't about to report him, instead she shredded the file without hardly looking at it. What she did manage to glimpse though was disturbing to her.

"I don't treat children, Rick, and you know that." He really was an idiot.

"I thought, maybe, it was as a favor or something."

"It would be a shitty favor."

"She told me you were her doctor."

"She, the patient, or the parents?" Every once in awhile a patient can be deceiving.

"She did. I have not been able to get a hold of her parents since early summer." Her husband was so naïve.

Mari was about to respond when she heard her daughter bound down the stairs. She looked up and smiled. She knew this separation was hard on her daughter.

"Mami I'm ready." She walked up to her father and gave him a hug and a kiss.

"Bye Papi."

"_Adios_." Rick called out to the both of them.

"Mami I want to take Britt to the theater, can you ask your friend if she knows a good show that's playing? Maybe something with a lot of dance. Britt likes dancing." Mari nodded her head and smiled. One of these days Santana was going to own up to her feelings for Brittany. Until then Mari would just play dumb.

* * *

It was surprising to Rachel how quickly she was beginning to think of Shelby's as home. She could practically walk around the place with her eyes closed.

"Are you sure he said it was a cold?" Shelby had been questioning her diagnosis since they left the office. It was like Shelby didn't believe her! Blasphemy!

In truth, Rachel couldn't really blame Shelby for her suspicions. Shelby was spot on with not trusting her. But Rachel didn't quite trust Shelby enough to tell her the truth. Rachel was more likely to trust a perfect stranger than someone she knew. She supposes that's why so many people employ the help of a shrink. It is a privilege to remain anonymous after all.

"Why don't you believe me?" Rachel shot back at her, adding some sass to it to better fit the role of a teenager.

"I don't know, Rach, you just don't have a very trusting face." Is that supposed to be funny?

"This face? This face launched a thousand ships."

"I think you're thinking of Helen of Troy. And those ships were not launched out of trust." It is so not cool that Shelby is keeping up with her.

"Whatever." Rachel isn't sure where that came from but she was pleased that it elicited an eye roll.

"Rachel I just want you to get better."

"I want that too." She really really does.

"Well, why don't you lie down on your new bed. I'm going to go out and…" A phone rang. Shelby looked liked she wanted to leave it be but in the end went to answer it.

"Oh yes, hi Judy…" Rachel tuned out. Eavesdropping is wrong.

"Rachel?" Rachel looked up at the sound of her name. Shelby was grinning like the Cheshire cat. Obviously Shelby had some good news.

"That was Judy on the phone." Yes, she had gathered that.

"She said the DNA test came back." Get to the point.

"And well, you're my daughter." Rachel didn't doubt it. She likes to think she's not capable of pulling a long con.

Shelby enveloped Rachel into a big bear hug. It felt good and also a little suffocating. Realizing it would make Shelby happy Rachel wrapped her arms around Shelby and squeezed tightly.

"You are my baby." Was that a sniffle? No. No no. Rachel was not okay with her crying. She let go of the hug on her end and hoped that Shelby would receive the message. She does.

"Sorry. I know. Uncomfortable." At least she gets it.

"Anyway, I'm going to run out and get you some tea, okay? Do you have a preference?" How nice. And for once Rachel doesn't mean it in a sarcastic way. It really is nice of Shelby to do that.

"I like peppermint." It was surprising to both Rachel and Shelby how easily she accepted the offer.

Mother and daughter smiled at each other.

* * *

In light of the positive news Shelby decided to treat Rachel with the tea she babbled about when they first met, some kind of immune system booster with peppermint flavoring. She just hoped it wasn't alcoholic.

Arriving in Asian Town Shelby navigated the racist street names and businesses to the bar. She parked her car and walked inside. The guy in the Hawaiian shirt was standing behind the bar. She walked up to him and introduced herself as Rachel's mom. She smiled brightly in contrast to his halfhearted one.

"Rachel was telling me about a tea you would make her. Some kind of immune-booster tea?" He gave her a confused look. Maybe Rachel was lying about the tea.

"To make her feel better? It has peppermint flavoring?"

"The one for her cancer?"

* * *

Prior to the ground opening up and swallowing her whole Shelby was blissfully living a lie. Prior to her little girl showing up at Carmel high and weaseling an audition Shelby's biggest worry was when she would see her boyfriend again. Prior to that Shelby was slogging along the road of life the best she could.

When Shelby was twelve her mom and dad took the family to California. There she learned about the dangers of the natural world. She learned about the horrors of natural disasters. She learned about twisters and hurricanes and fires. And she learned about predators. (Years later she would learn there was more to fear than the wrath of Mother Nature.) But nothing scared her more than earthquakes.

And right now, right this very moment, she felt the earth move.

* * *

A/N 2: I hope you all enjoyed! Congrats on those who guessed right! I always have mixed feelings when that happens. I want everything to be a surprise and unpredictable but I also like to leave little clues to see who can connect the dots. This wasn't a very big mystery, what with Rachel always "saying" she's going to die but it was important to the overall theme of the story. I wanted Rachel to always allude to the seriousness of her health in her thoughts but to also flat out lie when asked directly. As I stated previously the theme of this story is lies, but it is also important to have truths as well. So obviously still be suspicious but don't get lost in it, not everything is a lie.

A/N 3: Did anyone guess the importance of the tea?

Thanks! And review! Please!


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